Posts tagged release
How to More Easily Approach the Next Thing by Not Imposing Toxic Preconditions

Do you create obstacles for yourself before embarking on the next step? These might include a list of self-imposed pre-requirements before you can take the next step or tackle a new project.

Perhaps your goal is spring cleaning and organizing. While that’s a great goal, instead of beginning the process, you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step.

For instance, you prefer tackling this project in big time blocks rather than shorter, focused sessions. However, your life commitments and energy levels aren’t conducive to organizing three, four, or five hours at a time.

As a result, what happens? Things stagnate because you don’t have large swaths of time to move your project forward. You frontloaded the project with an obstacle that closed your mind to alternative solutions and experimentation.

Does this sound familiar?

 

What Are Toxic Preconditions?

A few weeks ago, I discovered the term “toxic preconditions” in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist. He learned this concept from James Horton, a social scientist who questioned why people who want to write more don’t.

Horton observed that some aspiring writers had “misguided beliefs” that might have seemed helpful but undermined their confidence, causing them to write less or not at all.

Burkeman says that what’s behind toxic preconditions is “the strong desire we have for some kind of guarantee – before we embark on a new activity, or even allow ourselves to relax into life – that it’ll all unfold safely and securely, that we’ll retain the feeling of being in control.”

He advocates how freeing it is to let go of that need for a “guarantee.” Burkeman says, “Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.” He goes on to say, “You never had control; all you had was anxiety.”

Do you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step?
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Letting Go of Toxic Preconditions

There are three aspects for releasing toxic preconditions:

1. Observe – Notice when you are putting up obstacles to the extent that you can’t move toward your goal or next step.

2. Accept – Acknowledge there are no guarantees. Instead, move forward with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to experiment.

3. ReleaseLet go of any preconditions that are toxic. Be willing to take that next step without first doing a, b, c, d, or e. Go forth without all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed.

I want to re-establish my daily walking habit. In the past months, I put up obstacles based on the weather, which I can’t control. I won't walk every day if I’m only willing to walk when it’s warm and sunny. I’ve been telling myself, “It’s too cold.” Or, “It’s too dreary.” If, instead, I adjust the parameters, like the length of a walk, wearing more layers, or walking inside instead of out, I’ll be more likely to reach my daily walking goal.

Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.
— Oliver Burkeman

What’s On the Other Side of Toxicity?

Let’s face it. Life has challenges. However, how often do you create obstacles and make things more complicated than necessary? If you tend to hinder your progress, I encourage you to explore new options. Release those toxic preconditions that aren’t serving you. Experience more movement, flow, and success.

Have you encountered toxic preconditions in others or yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, planning, or working on that next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Figuring out next is possible, especially with support.

 
 
Ways to Easily Make Next Step by Joyfully Losing Your Negative List

Yes. It’s still officially winter, and our recent run of several warm days has reverted to colder temperatures. Despite the fluctuating thermometer, I notice hopeful signs of spring as nature begins its blooming ritual. Frequent sightings of green plants push through the ground to greet the blue sun-filled sky. They don’t hesitate. After being dormant for months, rejoining life with gusto is their next step.

Nature’s confident growth got me thinking about things that prevent us from moving forward.

  • How about the mile-long to-do list?

  • Is yours dormant and paralyzing?

  • Or are you actively working on it?

  • Is your list meaningful and necessary?

  • Or is it filled with tasks that aren’t essential and you don’t care about?

  • Is your list so daunting that it brings up negative feelings, regret, and disappointment?

  • Or instead does it inspire you to act?

If you are struggling to determine your next step, here is a novel idea: Lose your ‘negative list.’ Crumple it up, let it go, and say buh-bye! That might sound radical, and perhaps it is. But can you imagine doing it anyway? And if you did, what might happen?

 

What’s On Your Negative List

Things holding you back can be concrete or emotional. They might include things like:

  • Thought loops with messages such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough”

  • Projects that would be nice to do, but realistically you’ll never get to

  • Thank you notes that are years overdue

  • Plans you wanted to make with friends or family, but never did

  • Piles of magazines with articles to clip and file

  • Stuff inherited from other people’s lives to sort and edit

  • Papers and objects representing previous careers or life stages to curate and edit

Without realizing it, I had a negative list. It included feeling bad about not yet:

 

 

Make Your Next Step Easier

It may sound too simplistic to lose or release your negative list. However, recognizing how it might be holding you back makes it worth trying.

Maybe you’ll decide you still want to attend to some things on that list. And if so, perhaps a reframe of how you think about that ‘thing’ will make the difference. For example, instead of the projects you’ll never get to demotivating you, celebrate the ones you have accomplished. Review the remaining ones to decide if one is worth pursuing. If so, think about it as a project you get to, not have to do. Release the rest.

As Oliver Burkeman says in Four Thousand Weeks, our time is limited. “The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” We will never get everything done or be able to pursue every possibility that exists. Burkeman says, “we’ve been granted the mental capacities to make almost infinitely ambitious plans, yet practically no time at all to put them into action.”

Recognizing these limitations can be freeing. Don’t try to do everything. Instead, let go of what is holding you back and pursue what’s most meaningful and necessary.

Selecting next will become easier. Guilt will be gone. Action and intention will rule the day. What comes next will be joyfully embraced once you are unencumbered by the lingering tasks you’ve chosen to release from your list.

The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.
— Oliver Burkeman

What’s Next?

I might forgo choosing a new word and motto this year and even skip a deeper review of 2024. Just considering that option makes me feel lighter and more energetic. After all, I imposed these things on myself, and I can just as quickly release them from my list.

My next steps will prioritize energizing and nourishing actions, projects, and ideas. What will be next for you? What can you release that is holding you back? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or figuring out your next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Embrace Possibilities and Create More Ease and Joy in Your Life

Inspiration abounds. The fall season in the northeast profoundly influences my thoughts about possibilities. Seeing the bold color shift to saturated yellows, oranges, and reds encourages me to seek change.

Last week, I wrote about my guest bedroom makeover. I considered what was possible, turned those ideas into reality, and was motivated to make more changes.

I made additional unplanned tweaks and changes that were outgrowths influenced by the bedroom project. When you disrupt an area, physical space, and objects are moved. This spatial churning also affects thoughts. Undoing what was in one room opened my mind to seeing and experimenting in other areas.

Sometimes, you feel set and don’t have the need or desire to change anything. Those times can last for brief periods, months, or years. At a point, though, something will interrupt that state. You are ready to try something different, reorganize systems, or make significant life shifts.

Possibilities infiltrate your thoughts. When possibilities are paired with action, change occurs.

 


 

3 Unexpected Outcomes from Possibility Thinking

1. Discover Giddy, Joyful Ease

I’ll admit this openly: I love decorative pillows. They’re textural and colorful and instantly change the look of a room. Typically, I have no less than five pillows adorning the sofa or beds.

As you might imagine, keeping the pillows fluffed and arranged can be a pain. Plus, you need extra time to undo and make the beds—pillows off, pillows on. However, I was happy to do the pillow maintenance dance because I loved how they looked and felt. I was willing until recently.

When I transformed the guest bedroom, I rethought the decorative pillow arrangement on that bed. That encouraged me to reconsider the pillow situation in our bedroom. I’m almost embarrassed to say, but we had ten pillows, only two of which we used for sleep. As I write this, I’m laughing out loud. I never counted them up before. Ten pillows are ridiculous.

My supportive husband has always accepted my pillow obsession but recently started questioning their necessity. Between his input and my desire to reimagine other areas of our home, I felt emboldened to change things.

Our bed now has only four sleep pillows and one decorative pillow. I feel giddy, even joyful, when I undo the bed at night or make it in the morning. It’s so easy that it almost feels wrong. I love it!

It took a change in one room to open my mind to possibilities in other areas. The wheels continue to turn.

  

When you release what is unnecessary, you clear the path for possibilities.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. Create Organization and Accessibility

One of the most fabulous products I discovered during the bedroom renovation was the Elfa® drawer dividers. We redid the guest bedroom closet with an Elfa® system from The Container Store. The designer suggested using the drawer dividers. I loved them so much that I purchased more for other areas where I have Elfa® drawers.

I showcased them in the tea bag overflow drawer a few weeks ago. Since then, I decided to reorganize the gift wrap supply drawers using the dividers. Instead of the gift bags, tags, ribbons, and other supplies moving around each time I opened a drawer, the dividers keep items better organized and securely in place.

Since the drawer organization upgrade, I’ve wrapped a few gifts. It was so easy and fun! The supplies are more visible, accessible, and visually pleasing.

Enjoy this fun video, which demonstrates how easy the drawer dividers are to install.

 

3. Right-Size Your Stuff

I often discuss how letting go of things that have overstayed their welcome makes space for more of what you want in your life. Clutter or extra stuff you never use takes up physical and emotional space. When you release what is unnecessary, you clear the path for possibilities.

When we emptied the guest bedroom, it gave me pause to assess the removed items and make decisions about their future. I did ‘the edit’ and engaged in various questions to help me evaluate what to keep or let go. I asked letting go questions, including:

  • Does this fit or belong in the newly reimagined space?

  • Will I use it?

  • Do I still like it?

  • Could it go somewhere else?

  • Is it time to let it go?

  • Has it served its purpose and is no longer necessary?

I made decisions. Cardboard storage boxes were recycled and replaced with new containers. Some furniture, art, home goods, boxes, and decorative pillows (yes, those!) will be sold or donated.

Currently, I still have a pile of items waiting to be gone. Getting them out requires my time and attention. Using Facebook Marketplace, GreenDrop, or the Buy Nothing Group, things will exit. I am confident in my decisions and ready to release things.

This process began with thinking about possibilities in one space and resulted in letting go of things that are no longer needed. It feels good and will feel even better when the pile is gone.

 

What Possibilities Are Ahead?

What no longer works for you? What becomes possible with a slight tweak? What possibility will inspire more organization and ease into your life? How can letting go create a path for new opportunities? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to move forward, get organized, and live with more ease? If so, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com or call 914-271-5673. Turning possibilities into reality is achievable, especially with support.

 
 
Is Activating Courageous Subtraction One of the Best Clutter Strategies?

Clutter has many sources. It can be internal, such as in mind clutter, or external, like physical things or spaces. Clutter can also appear in your schedule. Believe it or not, it’s beneficial when you’re bothered and stressed by clutter. Why? You’re at a tipping point, which means you’re more likely to make a positive change.

In last week’s blog, I shared my latest clutter discoveries. In the comments, one of my wonderful friends and colleagues, Seana Turner, mentioned an idea from The Happiness of Subtraction episode on The Happiness Lab podcast hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos. I was intrigued, so I listened to the podcast, which inspired this post.

In the episode, Laurie talked with Tim Harford, author of Messy, about the value of subtraction and how it can enhance one's life. He noted that often, people tend to add more instead of taking things away. Does this sound familiar?

  • You take on one more commitment you don’t have time for.

  • You purchase more pants and shirts and stuff them into a closet overflowing with clothes.

  • You fill your vacation itinerary with so many places to visit that you’re too exhausted to enjoy the trip.

  • You go to another tag sale and bring home “bargains” you don’t have space for and will never use.

  • You enroll your kids in so many extracurricular activities that they feel overwhelmed and anxious without downtime.

 

The Big Clutter Question

During the podcast, Laurie asked a thought-provoking question:

“If forced to take one thing away, what would it be?”

I’ve been mulling this over for a few days. Except for the word “forced,” I love the question. It asks you to look directly at the extras in your life.

  • What is putting you over the edge?

  • What ‘one thing’ can be released?

  • What ‘one thing’ no longer belongs?

  • What can go?

You are the decision-maker. No one is forcing you. Instead, view this as an opportunity. This is your opening to make a change. Release the things holding you back.

 



“Opportunity Cost”

Tim talked about how something has an “opportunity cost.” For example, “…everything you say yes to is getting in the way of something else.” The idea is to subtract as much as possible to make space for the “good stuff.”

  • What are you “over-subscribed” to?

  • What can you remove from your schedule?

  • How does saying no make space for saying yes to what you value most?

  • What could you be doing if you subtracted something else?

 

Subtraction lets you create space for what you treasure most.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

  

“Yes-Damn” Effect

Laurie discussed the familiar “yes-damn” effect from Hal Hershfield’s book Your Future Self about our time biases. This has probably happened to you before. Laurie said you get asked:

  • “Hey, do you wanna do this presentation?

  • Or Hey, do you wanna go to this kind of not very interesting dinner party?

  • Or Hey, do you wanna sign up for something in your schedule and you feel kind of bad?

  • So you’re like, yes.

  • Then weeks later, that project or that dinner party comes up and that’s where you say, damn.”

You said yes to something, and time passed. When you see it on your schedule, you regret the yes and are annoyed at yourself.

 

 

“No-Yay” Effect

Laurie prefers and uses a different strategy. Through “periodic reminders,” the “no-yay” effect reinforces the reward of saying no.

She shares this example. Let’s say someone asks you if you want to do a specific project, and you know the due date. You know you don’t want to do it, so you say no.

You could leave it there, at your no. Instead, you take it one step further. On the project’s due date, you write on your calendar, “Hey Laura, you didn’t have to do the project this day.”

Time elapses. You arrive at that future due date, see your note, and recognize how much harder things would have been if you had committed to doing that project. “And then you have the experience of the yay.”


Clutter shows up in our minds, schedules, and homes. Feeling bothered is a positive because it’s your cue for change. Subtraction lets you create space for what you treasure most.

What are you ready to subtract? If you need help making a plan or decluttering, reach out anytime. Please email me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Decluttering is possible, especially with support.