Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

There are tons of cues that shout, “It’s time to declutter!” However, sometimes life gets so busy that you don’t see or feel the indicators. You can quickly become clutter blind and ignore the signs. The challenge, however, is when clutter creates overwhelm, procrastination, lack of direction, or anxiety.

For me, physical clutter is less problematic than mind clutter. When I notice myself aimlessly wandering from room to room and lacking focus, I know it’s time to declutter my thoughts. Depending on the situation, I might take a walk in nature, which helps me feel grounded and clear. Or, I might pull out my journal and free write to release the thoughts swirling around in my head. As a verbal processor, another helpful strategy is talking aloud with a trusted friend or loved one who is an excellent listener.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what comes next. There is power and relief in noticing, reflecting, and taking action as you’re about to learn.

I invited a stellar group of colleagues to share some of their personal discoveries with you. They explain their decluttering cues and the actions they take to get uncluttered. These generous friends include Julie Bestry, Christine Li, Seana Turner, Leslie Josel, Diane Quintana, Marcy Stoudt, Ellen Delap, Jonda Beattie, Geralin Thomas, Janet Barclay, and Yota Schneider. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt-

How do you know when to declutter your things, thoughts, space, or schedule?

Their diverse responses encompass various decluttering cues, from feeling tired to mentally blocked. My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us.

11 Pros Share Best Cues for When It’s Time to Declutter

1. Feel Pressured

“My catalyst for decluttering is pressure. I might recognize it as stress, inconvenience, irritation, or even physical friction.

If I lack buffer time between tasks, too many lower priority items squeeze against higher priority obligations, leaving no room to breathe, think, or re-set. When items in my desk, bathroom, or kitchen drawers lack margin to move smoothly or for me to retrieve them easily, the friction is a trigger to declutter. A closet packed so tightly that clothes rub against one another, causing wrinkles, means there's too much pressure in my space.

Sorting and reducing relieves the pressure!”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger, Speaker

2. Feel Fatigued

“I know I need to declutter when I am feeling drained or fatigued. It’s a bodily response informing me that there are too many things going on or too much to focus on accurately and well. When I have that realization, I do my best to spring into decluttering mode so that I free myself up for smooth action again.” 

Christine Li, Ph.D. – Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist, Make Time for Success podcast Host

3. Feel Over-Scheduled

“I am quick to declutter my spaces, but I have a tendency to over-program my schedule. I know I am in trouble when I have no chance during the week to ‘catch my breath.’ While any given day may be heavy-laden, if looking at the week ahead leaves me feeling anxious about my ability to meet my commitments or anticipating insufficient sleep, I know I’ve taken on too much. 

For me, the ‘fix’ is to intentionally block out some ‘white space’ each week, including one day of rest and at least an hour each day to relax.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

4. Feel Mentally Blocked

“We all define clutter differently. For me, clutter isn’t about my physical stuff, as my environment is well organized and consistently edited. However, my clutter is mental blockage, time robbers, emotional demands, and digital or electronic dependency. And the list goes on and on! In essence, it’s anything taking up viable space – in my head and life. So as soon as I can’t see what direction I’m heading as too much ‘clutter’ is blocking the view, it’s time to brain dump on paper. Clear my head and edit! That’s my no-fail method for feeling less overwhelmed and staying on my path.”

Leslie Josel – ADHD Student Coach, Author, Speaker

5. Feel Overrun

“I know it’s time to declutter a space or things when I have a hard time putting something away. I declutter my thoughts by doing a brain dump – writing everything down on paper that I’m thinking about. My schedule has become a problem because I have not created boundaries for my time and make appointments even when I know my time would be better served by focusing on my own work. I decided to change this habit. Recently, I set aside two mornings a week to work for myself and will no longer make any appointments during those times.” 

Diane N. Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

6. Feel Visually Distracted

“As a person who leans into my strength of being a highly visual person, what I see helps me know it is time to declutter. Visual clutter looks to me like there are too many items that do not fit in the designated space for them, such as clothes that do not fit into my primary closet. As I look at my paper calendar crowded with back-to-back tasks or appointments crowding the week, I see that it is time to say no more to projects. Once I see that cue, right away I take time to let go of stuff and add it to my donate bag. For my calendar, I move appointments a week out and have a prepared statement to decline requests for new projects.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

“You can quickly become clutter blind and ignore the signs.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

7. Feel Overwhelmed

“Want one solution to help you declutter anything from papers on your desk to putting away laundry to your email inbox? It's setting a timer and monotasking. When I'm out of time and feel overwhelmed, I simplify my thoughts and say a mantra: I can do anything in 15 minutes.

To put this in practice, pick one task, end a meeting early, set a timer, and be amazed at what you can accomplish by monotasking for 15 minutes.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of The Executive Mom Nest

8. Feel Encumbered

“Out of sight- out of mind, or is it? I store archival papers in my attic. That means at least once a year, I climb a ladder to the attic and schlep up tax papers and anything else I feel I should keep but deem archival. The plan is that when I take up new files, old ones can be gotten rid of. You can guess how well that worked. 

This past year the weight of 7 years of not decluttering those papers haunted me. It felt so wonderful to finally get all that weight off my head!” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker

9. Feel Inspired

“To remain as clutter-free as possible, I follow calendar prompts for inspiration. For example, June is National Safety Month, and I add it to my calendar. This alerts me to update first aid supplies, our hurricane prep kit, and my vital documents file. In June, the second week is National E-mail Week, which cues me to declutter my email and delete or merge duplicate contacts. The second week in June is also Small Business Week. My calendar prompts me to inventory and organize Metropolitan Organizing’s office bookshelves and office supplies.

Personally, this system feels less overwhelming than trying to do everything at once or whenever I think of them.”

Geralin Thomas – Career Coach for Professional Organizers

10. Feel Confined

“I usually know it’s time to declutter when I can’t find space to store something new or when it’s too much work to do something I enjoy because of what’s involved in gathering the items I need. 

Most recently, I was feeling closed in at my desk and realized that I was tired of looking at the file organizer on my desk, which is always in my line of sight. I removed some books I no longer refer to from my bookcase, freeing up space for the organizer and making my desk a little more open.”

Janet Barclay – Certified Care Plan Specialist, Digital Business Consultant, Website Caregiver

11. Feel Rushed

“My state of mind tends to be reflected in everything I do and how I do it. My space, schedule, and thoughts are constantly informing one another. When clutter of any kind enters my life, eventually, there will be signs pointing to the need for change. I may wake up at night with my to-do list running through my head and a feeling of overwhelm pressing down to my chest. I get clumsy, anxious, irritable, or indifferent. I skip the daily rituals that support my sense of well-being and peace of mind and rush from one thing to the next. That is when I know it’s time to simplify and downsize so I can create the space I need to taste the sweetness of my life’s moments.”

Yota Schneider – Life Coach, Retreat Facilitator, Blogger

As you read this, did you increase your clutter awareness? Which decluttering cues resonated with you? What helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you are struggling and want a decluttering partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients with decluttering their things, thoughts, time, and space. Create the calm you deserve. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click here.

We’re wonderfully human and curious. We like to learn, understand, and get private glimpses of other peoples’ lives. With this collaborative post series, I usually ask my colleagues to respond to a question about the topic of the month. This time, I thought it would be fun to have them ask the question to a family member. I wanted to know (and I’m guessing you do too) what it’s like from the family member’s perspective to live with a Professional Organizer. I was delighted by the responses received from husbands, sons and daughters of my organizing colleagues Leslie Josel, Diane Quintana, Marie Potter, Seana Turner, Janine Adams and Ellen Delap. I couldn’t resist, so I also asked my family (Steve, Allison and Cassie) to give their take too. My gratitude goes to my colleagues and their beautiful families for being so open and for sharing your personal stories with us.

Sit back, make a cup of tea, and enjoy discovering what life’s really like behind closed doors.

What’s it like to live with a Professional Organizer? . . .

Lists, Lists & More Lists

“What’s it like to live with an organizer?  One word:  lists. To-do lists. Shopping lists. Call lists. Lists on note pads. Lists sent by email. Lists on the blackboard. Lists on the backs of envelopes and on scraps of paper. Basically, everything gets written down on our house.  Lists are living, breathing documents that we live by. Lists are to be kept, updated, managed, studied and followed devoutly. And resistance is futile.”

Wayne, Leslie’s husband

Leslie Josel – ADHD Coach, Author & Speaker

Predictable

“Living with a professional organizer is kind of boring in a good way. Things are always put away or at least where you think they might belong. In a word it is predictable.”

Andy, Diane’s son

Diane Quintana, CPO-CD®, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Author & Presenter

Visual Cues

“Other than the obvious - having a house, life and paper in order - we have maximized every nook and cranny of a small home. If it must be known, we are subject to the testing of improved systems and new products. If I miss the tour of the new system or product, I might reach for something in its usual spot (creature of habit) and get a bit frustrated to find it's been relocated. Fortunately, there are visual cues that come with being married to an organizer - bins, baskets, labels and lists - so that helps. At the end of the day, it simplifies our lives and prepares me for the golden years when my mind goes!"

Chris, Marie’s husband 

Marie Potter is a Professional Organizer

Wonderfully Human

“Living with a professional organizer- my wife, Linda- has been great (professionally and Oh, So Otherwise). Our house is not large, but under Linda’s guidance we’ve established a place for things that makes it easy to get back to a calm state after a project has caused items to be spread around, or after a party. At the same time, we’re not minimalists and we don’t have a sterile environment. We’re both collectors (I have the bigger stuff), but it all seems to nest together."

I get a smile the few times that Linda has misplaced something, because it shows no matter how well the system is set up, gremlins exist for all of us.”

Steve, Linda’s husband

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker

Mess Management

“1. Everything has a place.

2. Everything is labeled.

3. You learn early on to close your door when your room is messy so she doesn’t get traumatized."

Bethany, Seana’s daughter

Seana Turner is a Professional Organizer, Blogger & Speaker

Full Circle Thinking

“I’m not a naturally neat person. And that’s not to say organization is about being neat, but I learned at a pretty young age what our household ‘mess’ tolerance was. As a visual-tactile person, having physical reminders around (of each of my dozen current projects) helped further my creative stim.

But Mom encouraged me to put things away as I completed each phase of a task. This ‘full circle thought processing’ has been instrumental in how I’ve learned to arrange my time, to-dos, and even keep my workspace… to the point where friends are surprised when I tell them I wasn’t always so organized!”

Allison, Linda’s daughter 

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker

No Difference

“Living with a professional organizer is exactly like living with a professional dog writer or a public relations professional. In other words, I haven’t noticed any difference in living with Janine since she opened her organizing business nine years ago.”

Barry, Janine’s husband 

Janine Adams, CPO-CD®, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Speaker & Blogger 

Joyful

“I love living with a professional organizer because we both enjoy living an organized life. We are two peas in a pod.  No clothes on the floor, kitchen counters are clear, our home hosts others and our lives operate smoothly. We partner on many of the home responsibilities and work together in businesses. Each of us takes on responsibilities by our strengths and availability. We share calendars through Outlook and each Sunday evening have a family meeting to know what is going on for the week for each of us. Our collaboration and communication make the most of our mutual view of being organized.”

J.Q., Ellen’s husband

Ellen Delap, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant & Blogger

Bonus With A Twist

“I realize now, after many years away from home, living on my own and with roommates, how much I learned from my mom. There are things I do, daily routines, housekeeping quirks that I do because of her, because of the way she kept our house; clean, organized, with a little twist. I love the fact that I grew up in a house with a professional organizer. Yes, there were times I didn’t understand why we needed to do ‘the quick clean’ before my grandma came to visit, or why a To Do/Packing List was a necessity for every travel adventure (including weekend trips), but these small additions to my growing up have become extremely helpful tools as an adult.

I don't know where I’d be without my mom, without the lessons she’s taught me. I attest what I’ve learned to her being an exceptional mom. Being a professional organizer was just a bonus.”

Cassie, Linda’s daughter

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker 

I don’t know about you, but I really loved hearing from the family members of my colleagues. Living with organizers runs the spectrum from normal to predictable to fun to life changing and everything in between. Were there any surprises here? I’d love to hear your thoughts (or your families.) Come join the conversation!

While mindfulness is part of my daily practice, these days I find myself in more of an anticipation mode. This distracts my attention away from now. I feel the pull between my desire to be present and my thoughts about planning for next year. These rumblings mess with my sense of balance. I’m teetering on the seesaw going up and down between now and later. Is it just me, or is anyone else feeling this way?

One of the magazines I enjoy reading regularly is Real Simple. The January issue is about life balance. It has an assortment of interesting articles, statistics, and viewpoints. What struck me most was the cover, which had a variety of words that suggested the promise of “how to live the balanced life.” I thought it would be interesting to share them, but alter the context. Instead of specifically focusing on gadgets, wardrobes and diets as they did, let’s instead use the verbs to concentrate on what’s most important to you.

Are you ready to experiment? Read the list below. Fill in as many blanks as you wish. Declare the changes you want to make for the coming year.

1. Reduce - If I had less (__), I’d feel more balanced. Letting go can propel us forward, help us feel calmer, and be less stressed. Overabundance can lead to overwhelm. What do you want to less of? What will you reduce?

2. Increase - If I had more (__), I’d feel more balanced. This might be about the stuff, but more probably, it’s about time, people, and growth. What do you want more of? What will you increase?

3. Improve - If I improved (__), I’d feel more balanced.   Is there an area you’d like to challenge yourself in like eating more nutritiously, learning a new skill, or honing one you already have? What area do you want to tweak? What would you like to improve?

4. Simplify - If I simplified (__), I’d feel more balanced. We live in a complex world. How can you rethink your days to remove the layers of complexity? Can you change your routines, commitments, or schedule? What can you streamline? What will you simplify?

5. Make - If I made (__), I’d feel more balanced.            The act of creating something can infuse us with energy, joy, and satisfaction. Creativity comes in many forms from writing to singing to cooking to dancing to painting and more. Where do you want to channel your creative juices? What do you want to make?

6. Solve - If I solved (__), I’d feel more balanced.              Do you have a challenge and feel stuck? Sometimes we need help figuring out the next step. Can you reach out for brainstorming or delegation help to find a solution? Who can you ask? What will move you forward? What would you like to solve?

Was this exercise useful? Are there any additions you’d like to add to the list? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Which words resonate with you? Come join the conversation.