Do you create obstacles for yourself before embarking on the next step? These might include a list of self-imposed pre-requirements before you can take the next step or tackle a new project.

Perhaps your goal is spring cleaning and organizing. While that’s a great goal, instead of beginning the process, you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step.

For instance, you prefer tackling this project in big time blocks rather than shorter, focused sessions. However, your life commitments and energy levels aren’t conducive to organizing three, four, or five hours at a time.

As a result, what happens? Things stagnate because you don’t have large swaths of time to move your project forward. You frontloaded the project with an obstacle that closed your mind to alternative solutions and experimentation.

Does this sound familiar?

What Are Toxic Preconditions?

A few weeks ago, I discovered the term “toxic preconditions” in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist. He learned this concept from James Horton, a social scientist who questioned why people who want to write more don’t.

Horton observed that some aspiring writers had “misguided beliefs” that might have seemed helpful but undermined their confidence, causing them to write less or not at all.

Burkeman says that what’s behind toxic preconditions is “the strong desire we have for some kind of guarantee – before we embark on a new activity, or even allow ourselves to relax into life – that it’ll all unfold safely and securely, that we’ll retain the feeling of being in control.”

He advocates how freeing it is to let go of that need for a “guarantee.” Burkeman says, “Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.” He goes on to say, “You never had control; all you had was anxiety.”

“Do you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Letting Go of Toxic Preconditions

There are three aspects for releasing toxic preconditions:

1. Observe – Notice when you are putting up obstacles to the extent that you can’t move toward your goal or next step.

2. Accept – Acknowledge there are no guarantees. Instead, move forward with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to experiment.

3. Release – Let go of any preconditions that are toxic. Be willing to take that next step without first doing a, b, c, d, or e. Go forth without all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed.

I want to re-establish my daily walking habit. In the past months, I put up obstacles based on the weather, which I can’t control. I won't walk every day if I’m only willing to walk when it’s warm and sunny. I’ve been telling myself, “It’s too cold.” Or, “It’s too dreary.” If, instead, I adjust the parameters, like the length of a walk, wearing more layers, or walking inside instead of out, I’ll be more likely to reach my daily walking goal.

“Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.”

— Oliver Burkeman

What’s On the Other Side of Toxicity?

Let’s face it. Life has challenges. However, how often do you create obstacles and make things more complicated than necessary? If you tend to hinder your progress, I encourage you to explore new options. Release those toxic preconditions that aren’t serving you. Experience more movement, flow, and success.

Have you encountered toxic preconditions in others or yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, planning, or working on that next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Figuring out next is possible, especially with support.

Making a change in your life can be challenging. Have you ever wondered why? Here are some common obstacles you might encounter:

• Feeling unsure about how to create the change you desire

• Feeling defeated as the change you desire appears unattainable

• Feeling a lack of energy or resources to manifest the change

• Feeling overwhelmed by other responsibilities in your life makes focusing on intentional change seem unrealistic right now

• Feeling frustrated by the time needed to create change

• Feeling unclear about the change you want to make

• Feeling resentful that you want to make a change but would rather focus on less stressful activities

• Feeling the absence of a support system

Yet, despite these potential difficulties, you still want to make a change. Change is possible when you’re in a negative, stress-filled state, but it’s more challenging. What if you could create a starting point that is more conducive and encouraging?

I recently discovered something that could be a game-changer (no pun intended).

The Value of a Morning Activation Ritual

In Joseph Nguyen’s book Don’t Believe Everything You Think – Why Your Thinking is the Beginning & End of Suffering, I read a passage about developing an “activation ritual.” While Nguyen applied this concept to reduce stressful thoughts, I can see how the idea of rituals could be useful for facilitating change.

Nguyen says, “Most of us are used to spending the majority of our day in a state of stress (thinking).” However, when you stop thinking and stressing, that energy can be redirected elsewhere. Without channeling it elsewhere, you will likely revert to a thinking and stressful state.

He suggests creating a morning activation ritual that helps you “get back into a state of non-thinking and flow. It can be an activity that helps you feel grounded and allows you to practice getting into a state of non-thinking.”

Consider centering activities such as meditating, exercising, journaling, or making tea. “An activation ritual enables you to build momentum in a positive direction immediately when you wake up so that it’s easier to stay in that state of non-thinking for the rest of the day.” Nguyen suggests that it’s possible to “channel the newfound energy into our goals of inspiration.”

“An activation ritual enables you to build momentum in a positive direction . . .”

— Joseph Nguyen

Create Your Activation Ritual

Do you start your day gently with a nourishing and grounding routine? Or are your mornings often rushed and chaotic?

You have the opportunity to create a centering morning ritual that will energize you, reduce stress, and enhance your ability to make the change you desire.

Here is one approach to creating an activation ritual:

• Establish a consistent wake-up time.

• Select one grounding activity before beginning your day, such as exercising, meditating, or journaling.

• Do this for one week.

• Observe what happened.

• Depending on what you discovered, continue or alter your activation ritual.

Beginning the day feeling grounded and nourished will cultivate an internal state that promotes the change you want.

What change would you like to make? How can a morning activation ritual benefit you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

How Can I Help?

Do you want support creating routines, organizing, planning, or inviting positive change? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

What becomes possible when you get organized enough? Will you suffer less? Will your mental health and well-being improve due to better organization and flow?

For over 30 years, I have been a professional organizer, helping overwhelmed individuals challenged by disorganization get unstuck and organized.

I’ve observed a direct correlation between disorganization and distress. Creating order in the areas within your control significantly improves your external and internal state of being.

Recently, I had the joy of speaking with John Burton, a singer, songwriter, author, and host of the Home From Here podcast. John is fascinated by the intersection of organization and mental health, and he invited me to talk about that and much more on his show.

I invite you to listen to the podcast, episode 193, to hear the entire conversation. You might even discover a few surprising personal details, such as how I start my day, what my household was like growing up, and my favorite color. Although, I bet you can guess that last one even without listening to the podcast. You all know me so well.

Read about these three ideas I featured from our conversation about organization and well-being, and enjoy the podcast, too.

Home From Here - Episode 193 - John Burton with guest Linda Samuels

3 Ways Getting Organized Reduces Suffering and Improves Your Well-Being

1. “Organization made me feel better.”

John Burton, Home From Here podcast host with Linda Samuels - Episode 193

John noticed that organizing specific areas of his life made him feel better. You can learn more about his mental health journey from our conversation. One of the things he mentioned was how life-changing it was to organize his time and habits, especially his morning routine. As John experienced, better organization enhanced his day’s flow and well-being. He “felt better.”

Many of my clients have mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and OCD. The organizing piece has been elusive. Often, the external chaos reflects what’s happening internally. Through our work, I see a positive shift as we remove the disorganization blockages, create manageable systems, and focus on being “organized enough.” It’s not about perfection but about organizing in a way that helps you live with more ease.

What will be possible as you feel better?

2. “If I could only get it all done, life would be perfect.”

John asked me about the “trick” to time management. There are many different philosophies about managing yourself and your time, and there isn’t one definitive trick. However, I’ll share two significant principles of time management.

The first thing to understand about time management is acknowledging that you’ll never get it all done. And just so you know, I say those words as someone who is highly optimistic. People often think life would be perfect if you could “only get it all done.”

Whether your to-do list is in your head, on paper, or on an electronic list, as soon as you cross off a completed task, a new item appears. That’s the human condition. If you’re alive, you will have things to get done.

Even when your list is overflowing, I encourage you to embrace opportunities for joy and delight and let go of perfection. As John said, “If you can accept imperfection, stress goes way down.”

The second time management concept is about clarifying your priorities. Focus on aligning your priorities with what you spend time on. In addition, not all tasks will be related to things you’re passionate about. There are life management responsibilities like doing laundry, getting groceries, showering, or paying bills. Those might not excite you, but they are a necessary part of living.

Does all or most of your time go to life maintenance? Is little to no time reserved for your passions or priorities? If so, looking at where your time is going and making some adjustments is helpful.

What becomes possible when your priorities are clarified?

“If you can accept imperfection, stress goes way down.”

— John Burton

3. “I can see a path forward.”

John and I discussed virtual organizing and how I typically have 60-minute Zoom sessions with my clients. My goal is to help them get unstuck enough to take action, make progress, and feel better.

At the beginning of a session, clients might feel overwhelmed, discouraged, or hopeless. By the end of the hour, they’ve experienced progress (a physical change, perspective shift, or new system) and can see possibilities.

We take baby steps that boost confidence and agency. Progress happens during and between the organizing sessions. Clients learn organizational skills and how to integrate them into their busy lives.

 What will be possible as you clear your path?

What is Possible?

Toward the end of our conversation, John said he was “struck” by “the amount of reducing suffering” I’m doing.

Life has hiccups and stress. I am passionate about helping my clients get unstuck, make progress, live with more ease, and feel better. Getting organized enough, letting go of perfection, shifting perspectives, and focusing on priorities can make a significant difference. What is possible for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to get unstuck, organize, and improve your well-being? If so, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Turning possibilities into reality is achievable, especially with support.