There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

I love helping my clients succeed as they make changes in their lives. Being part of their organizing journey as they experiment and grow is a privilege.

Prioritizing goals, changing habits, and learning new skills is no small feat. It takes patience, time, and curiosity. Sometimes, I’m asked, “How much can you accomplish in a one-hour virtual organizing session?”

Of course, that depends. However, it doesn’t matter if you’re planning, decluttering, assessing, or something else. My goal is to help my clients experience and notice their progress during every session.

Progress shows up in different ways. It might be . . .

• Having a perspective shift

• Decluttering a surface

• Reducing overwhelm

• Letting go of unhelpful ideas

• Making decisions about emotionally charged possessions

• Gaining clarity around the next tiny, doable step

• Designing an organizational solution for a challenging area

• Planning a big project

• Figuring out where to start

• Gaining confidence

• Identifying potential obstacles

• Noticing the changes they made

• Learning new skills

• Organizing mind clutter

• Brainstorming about how to prioritize commitments and goals

• Getting unstuck

• Organizing a specific area

• Improving their mood

• Feeling empowered by their progress and agency

An Essential Question

My friend and colleague, Juliet Landau-Pope, begins each client session with this question. It’s a beautiful query because it encourages the client to review their progress and identify the benefits they’re experiencing. She asks,

“What value did you get from the last virtual organizing session?”

I listen carefully to what my clients say. They talk about their obstacles, positive changes, progress, and goals.

My clients experience many positive results from their one-hour virtual organizing sessions. I’m sharing their inspiring thoughts with you, which are categorized into five areas. They are:

• Clutter

• Progress

• Mood

• Enjoyment

• Empowerment

41 Inspiring Results Clients Describe About Their Virtual Organizing Sessions 

Clutter

“I’m in the process of un-messing.”

“The bedroom is more habitable.”

“Clutter is more energy than it’s worth.”

“The couch looks better.”

“My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

“Stuff was much more overflowing before.”

“I now have a blueprint for how to declutter.”

Progress

“I made headway.”

“So much progress has been made.”

“Once on a roll, it’s easier.”

“I got so much done during our session.”

“It’s a big deal for me to be this focused.”

“I am making significant progress. I couldn’t do that a while ago.”

“Wow! This is starting to come together.”

“I feel more in control.”

“I see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“I now have a blueprint for how to declutter.”

— Oh, So Organized! Client

Mood

“Things feel mentally more manageable.”

“I am way less overwhelmed.”

“I feel better.”

“I am so relieved to be dealing with this.”

“I feel good. I was down in the dumps when I couldn’t do anything.”

“It’s good to talk about emotional strategies to make it better.”

“This feels so good what we did today.”

“At the beginning of our session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

“I’m in a better mood now.”

Enjoyment

“This was super helpful and fruitful.”

“Who knew organizing could be so fun?”

“This was very helpful. It was better than I thought it would be.”

“I really enjoyed our session.”

“This has been so much fun.”

“I see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

— Oh, So Organized! Client

Empowerment

“Things are improving. I’ve got this.”

“I have a plan that I can actually accomplish.”

“Not insurmountable anymore.”

“I’m in a whole other place than before.”

“It's not scary anymore.”

“I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

“Not impossible or unconquerable.”

“I feel very motivated.”

“This is so liberating. I deserve this.”

“This is empowering.”

“I can do this!”

Virtual Organizing is a Powerful Path Forward

Which client experiences resonate with you? Have you worked with a Virtual Professional Organizer? If so, what positive results did you experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Do you need help getting unstuck, making a plan, decluttering, or organizing? If so, I’m ready to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

What are your days like? Is life moving along smoothly? Or are your days filled with overwhelm, ups and downs, and challenges? There are times when finding your next step flows easily. At other points, the next step feels elusive. What if next included embracing “small awe” moments? How would that change the mood for your day and your experience of next?

Have you ever seen or experienced something that evoked such a sense of awe that you could barely find words to describe it? I remember visiting the Grand Canyon decades ago. My husband and I stood on the edge, looking at the magnificent expanse and feeling that deep awe. We were speechless.

Experiencing big awe because of natural wonders, cosmic events, encounters with wildlife, moments of surprise, spiritual experiences, human achievement, art, scientific discoveries, or personal transformation is amazing yet rare.

Small Awe Concept

The idea of small awe is more readily accessible. I was introduced to the concept when I visited the Dinner Gallery in New York City with my daughter, Allison. We saw the Time Is A Fire exhibit by artist Langdon Graves, who gave a talk about her work. Langdon used the phrase “small awe” to describe the intent behind some of her pieces. I’ve been thinking about that idea ever since. She said these tiny moments of awe are always available to us. However, we often don’t stop long enough to recognize them.

a Small Awe Next Step

What if your next step was discovering and enjoying a small awe moment? That might be . . .

• Seeing the first purple crocus of the season emerge from the earth

• Hearing your client declare confidently the progress they are making

• Crossing off the last task on your to-do list for the day

• Feeling the sun warm your body after days of gray, gloomy weather

• Going to the post office to mail your tax packet to your accountant

• Basking in the post-mindfulness meditation calm

• Taking in the coffee aroma and flavor from your favorite mug

• Sensing the warm water cover you as you shower or soak luxuriously in a tub

• Enjoying the open space you have in your closet after decluttering, organizing, and donating some clothes

• Hearing the sound of your loved one’s voice on the other end of the phone

• Climbing into your cozy bed after a long day

• Making progress on that big project, you were procrastinating about

• Having a great conversation with dear friends

“Be on the lookout for a ‘small awe’ moment.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Next can be a grand gesture or something smaller. It can be infused with awe. Are you stuck and unsure about what to do next? Be on the lookout for small awe moments. It might be just what you need to help you joyfully move forward. What moments are available to you? What will be your next step? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with your next step, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Next is doable, especially with support.

Proactive change is a fascinating thing. It’s the type of change you seek when you desire a shift in your life. You might have identified an area you want to improve, a behavior you want to stop, or a wish you want to manifest. You are ready for a transformation but may feel overwhelmed with where to begin or what to focus on. Change is possible through desire, small steps, and support.

This week, I attended the educationally stimulating ICD Virtual Conference, “Shining a Spotlight on ADHD.” There were three terrific speakers- Melanie Sobocinski, PhD, PCC, Sharon Saline, Psy.D, and Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA. They shared a wealth of information. I’m focusing on three ideas I learned about change that I thought would be especially helpful.

3 Useful Changes

1. Task Activation

Have you ever wondered why a task isn’t happening? In Melanie Sobocinski’s presentation, Mastering the ADHD Trifecta to Manage Task Salience, she said the key to activation hinges on using strategies in three areas:

• High Interest – May need to be boosted or toned down

• Urgency – Can be overused, but can be beneficial when used in small doses

• Other People – Can provide support, including focus and problem-solving, or can be an obstacle if it erodes the client’s autonomy

Task activation can be improved by understanding which elements are interfering. While Melanie shared excellent strategies for each area, there was one for High Interest that caught my attention.

To boost “Interest,” you can introduce novelty with a micro-change. Melanie shared a worksheet by Casey Dixon, PCC, who defines micro-change as “the smallest possible change you can make to have a task or solution feel new again.” These tiny changes will “catch your brain’s attention and help a task feel fresher and more rewarding, without creating utter chaos.”

Use Micro-Change to Introduce Novelty

• Try a new tool or resource, such as a new app.

• Change your location or placement of objects, like working at a coffee shop.

• Select a new color for writing with or on.

• Use a new sound for alarms.

• Adjust your position or lighting by walking during a call or switching the lighting intensity.

2. Confidence Formation

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or lacked confidence in social situations? Are you curious about one strategy that can change your experience? In Sharon Saline’s presentation, Strategies and Solutions for Social Anxiety in Neurodivergent Adults, she described social anxiety disorder as a “debilitating fear or judgment, humiliation, or rejection.” There can be a “disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated perception of themselves.”

Sharon delved into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), Perfectionism, and Imposter Syndrome. One of the strategies she offered when discussing Imposter Syndrome was to develop and name your “inner ally.” Negative self-talk can run rampant. Call upon your inner ally to provide support, compassion, and belief when you’re feeling nervous, doubtful, or ruminating with unhelpful thoughts. Sharon calls her ally “Tina Trailblazer.” What name will you give yours? What words of support will they offer?

While I haven’t named my ally or identified her as such, I have relied this year on my 2024 motto to lift me when I run into a challenge. Her voice says, “You got this.” Those words help me get over myself and move forward with confidence. After learning about the inner ally concept, I feel inspired to give my ally a name.

“Yes starts the process of change; Yet keeps it going.”

— Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

3. Sleep Foundation

Do you get enough sleep? Is that an area of your life you want to change and improve? Ari Tucker’s presentation was ADHD Makes Sleep Worse – And We Probably All Need More Sleep. He said, “No one is bringing their A-game after a bad night of sleep.”  

Lack of sleep negatively impacts mood, efficiency, effectiveness, focus, and attention. Consider how you feel after good or bad sleep days. There are many solutions for sleep deprivation, which include establishing a consistent bedtime, limiting caffeine, minimizing kid and pet disruptions, or stopping naps. For more strategies, read Ari’s ADDitude article, 9 Sleep Deprivation Solutions for Adults with ADHD.

While there are numerous ways to address good sleep hygiene, Ari suggests focusing first on quantity. If you establish the ‘right’ number of sleep hours you need, the quality of your sleep will probably be fine. If the quantity of sleep is good and you’re still having sleep challenges, then it’s worth investigating your sleep quality. Talking with a doctor who can advise about any medical challenges affecting your sleep could be beneficial.

Small changes in your sleep habits can significantly improve your daily experience.  

“Partial progress is still progress.”

— Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

Which ideas resonated with you? Are there areas of change you want to focus on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with the changes you desire, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is doable, especially with support.