There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

What is your relationship to change? Do you love change and readily seek it out? Or do you avoid change at all costs? It may depend on the situation. Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. When you are stressed, overwhelmed, and with no energy or motivation, your capacity for change is low. However, when you’re excited and ready, even if you don’t have all the facts or steps, you have more capacity to seek changes and new opportunities.

It's important to know where you are and what you need. The outcome won’t be great if you try to make a significant change when you’re sleep-deprived and can’t think straight. At those times, instead of pushing beyond your capacity, it’s best to pull back and support what you need. That might mean more sleep, some quiet, or a walk outside.

When you’re ready to stretch and grow, pushing beyond your capacity will be possible. You can do things you’ve never done. This will require physical and emotional energy and mental toughness to stretch past your comfort zone.

“Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Monthly Sharing Retreat

Each month, I participate in a fantastic virtual retreat led by my wonderful friend and Clarity Coach, Yota Schneider. She creates a safe, supportive space for women to gather, meditate, write, and share.

On a recent retreat, the theme was capacity. I wrote this passage in my journal during our free-write after the meditation, which I’m sharing with you. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how intertwined capacity is with your ability for change.

Thoughts About Capacity

One thing is for sure. My mind has the capacity to go on in a bazillion directions thinking about capacity. Knowing that, I will take one of the tangents and go with it.

Milk Bottles

I thought about a bottle. I was filling up a bottle, like those old rectangular glass milk bottles delivered to the back kitchen door when I was a kid. As I filled up this bottle with clear liquid, guess what? There was a point when it was to the top, and then, in a moment, it was spilling over. To full, overflowing, beyond capacity. What a mess!

Conferences

Next thought. I thought about a professional conference I went to. It was jam-packed with three days of learning. Experts spoke about the brain, learning differences, chronic disorganization, and more. The presenters taught us for six to eight hours each day. Between learning and socializing, my brain was too full by the end of the day. I couldn’t think or formulate a coherent sentence. My intake for the night was beyond capacity. I felt like a soaked sponge that couldn’t absorb another drop. I knew it was time to retreat to the quiet of my hotel room.

Flaco

And lastly, there’s Flaco. He is a giant Eurasian owl born in captivity to parents who also were. He lived in New York City’s Central Park Zoo for over a decade. Then, one night, someone broke into his cage, and he escaped. However, because he was born in captivity, Flaco never learned to hunt or fend for himself. He could barely fly. His capacity was contained.

After his escape, incredible things happened. He became a fascination and inspiration to New Yorkers. One man has been documenting Flaco’s adventures this past year. Flaco, who has a six-foot wingspan, can now fly. He’s a fantastic hunter and can be spotted on tops of buildings or park benches. He stretched beyond his capacity and thrived. Who says owls can’t change?

Milk bottles, conferences, and giant owls. Sometimes, we feel limited by our capacity and must stop or retreat. At other times, we feel inspired to soar to new heights.

Knowing and honoring your capacity for both is the kindest gift you can give. Know when it’s necessary to pull back. Know when it’s time to reach beyond.

Flaco the Owl | Late Night with Seth Meyers

Your Capacity for Change

Locate yourself on the change-capacity scale. Is it time to step back or extend?

If you want assistance aligning your capacity with your change goals, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

Spring is arriving, and this season often inspires hope-infused feelings. However, we can get stuck even during this joyous time. Have you ever felt stuck? When that happens, do you find figuring out your next step challenging? If so, you’re not alone. Grief, life transitions, negative self-talk, fear, procrastination, exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of information or expertise can prevent forward movement. Next feels elusive.

When I have too many next steps, I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing something, I ruminate about everything I want and need to do. Guess what? I become stuck. Depending upon the situation, I might make a list or chart, talk with a trusted friend, take a walk, or write in my journal. From there, I will take a tiny, doable action step. It’s enough to get me unstuck, build momentum, and journey forward.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. As you’re about to discover, there is power and relief in planning, listening, reframing, and breathing.

I invited an outstanding group of colleagues to share their personal experiences with you. They describe being stuck and the next step that helped them get unstuck. These generous friends include Alison Nissen, Christine Li, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jocelyn Kenner, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Lana Kitcher, Marcy Stoudt, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe a time you felt stuck and the next step you took to move forward.

 13 Remarkable Pros Share How They Make Their Next Step When Stuck

 1. Next Step:  Breathe

“When I get too much in my head, it usually results in feeling stuck. I’m vulnerable when I lounge in bed too long in the morning, dozing in and out of sleep. When this happens, I become captive to swirling thoughts, the effect of which is mental quicksand – the ultimate feeling of being stuck.

I escape the mental quicksand by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, then thinking about one or more things I am profoundly grateful for and creating a positive affirmation for the day ahead. This resets me, and I can move forward with lightness and positivity.

Jocelyn Kenner – Coach & Professional Organizer

2. Next Step:  Plan

“I was losing track of my next steps required by the many projects in which I am involved and also of things I wanted to do for myself & my two businesses.  I did two things. I created a weekly plan of the things I wanted to do day by day for my businesses & projects, which I put inside my planner. Then I decided to use the whiteboard in my office to list the tasks for the current day. Doing these two things has helped me get myself back in action and feeling in control.” 

Diane Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

3. Next Step:  Reflect

“In 2012, due to family emergencies and having to travel overseas to care for loved ones, I put my coaching practice on hiatus. Life took its course. Late fall of 2019, I felt the pull and began to contemplate launching my practice again. As I revisited my services and website, I realized that something had changed. I did not want to begin again where I had left off. I had to rethink how I wanted to work with people. I let go of the past, hit pause, and let inspiration come find me. For a good two months, I reflected, wrote, and explored possibilities. At the end of that period, The Art of New Beginnings was born.”

Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach – Life Coach, Retreats Facilitator, Blogger

4. Next Step:  Change Viewpoint

“‘Alison, that's not how we do it,’ the voice articulated. The words stung and left me upset.  

To stop the fear of becoming stuck when I'm distressed, I cross my eyes and look at my nose. Why, you ask? To remind myself that I can't always see what's right in front of me. 

This simple action prompts me to look at a situation from another viewpoint, one without heightened emotions. Irving Berlin once said, ‘Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.’ Standing back to gain perspective is a choice, and it's how I move forward when I'm feeling stuck.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Co-Founder & Chief Story Officer of Revel Coach

5. Next Step:  Listen

“I recently felt stuck after the death of one of my parents. My next step was to pause to focus on my feelings and my family. And to listen for when my brain and heart were ready to start moving forward again. So I turned to my favorite listening activities: walking, cleaning, and organizing. They worked! While I'm not running full steam ahead, I'm in motion. Having my projects and ideas in Evernote made it easy to pick one to work on. Then, that one thing turned into three things. Interesting how it fueled fresh brain sparks. Just what I needed.”

Deb Lee, CPO® – Digital Productivity Coach and Consultant, Evernote Certified Expert

6. Next Step: Stay Open

“I went from teaching special education to becoming a lead teacher. I had high hopes. About a year into that stressful job, I knew that this job was not good for me. I knew I should retire. But I was frightened I would not be able to support myself and also anxious I would get sick if I stayed. I talked to people who had retired and to friends. Fate intervened, and I saw an article about Professional Organizers. I knew I had found my next career. Whenever I need support, I talk to people I trust.” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker


  

7. Next Step:  Write

“Knowing where to start when contemplating writing a new ebook for one of my blogs has been challenging. But, when I started to write down the points I wanted to make in the ebook, I found that the direction and details came more naturally. Writing things down is how to clear the cloudy fog when stuck. It lightens my energy and allows me to see the steps.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Blogger 

“Sometimes you need outside help...to shake you out of a slump.”

— Lana Kitcher

 8. Next Step:  Check-In

“I love creating content, but perfectionist procrastination over choosing technology sometimes paralyzes my moving from idea to implementation. Once research stops yielding new information, I turn to others for a reality check and catalyst. Years ago, unable to pick a newsletter service, I presented my research and dilemma to a colleague. She encouraged me to pick a particular free trial but also reminded me that whatever I chose, I could always transfer to a different service later — I only had to commit long enough to make forward momentum. You can't edit a blank page; you can't evaluate an untaken step.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author, Blogger

9. Next Step:  Wander

“When my mind is on a negative repeat loop, and I feel stuck, I love to remove mental clutter. Here's how:

1. Go outside without any technology and allow your mind to wander.

2. Once you feel a slight separation from the problem, consider the situation and list everything in and out of your control.

3. Create two to-do lists: 

                        List 1: What actions can you take to move forward? 

                        List 2: What worries or items are out of your control? Place these on "The Universe's To-Do List." 

Taking action is an excellent step towards progress. But, when it's clutter-free - it's a giant leap.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of Nest by Revel

10. Next Step:  Redirect Energy

“I remember a time when I was serving as a volunteer on a committee for an organization that I loved. Over time, I found that my ideas were being discounted, disregarded, and ignored. I felt discouraged and stuck. I finally realized that I was not in control of this situation, and the only way I could move forward was to resign from the committee. I found another way to serve this organization on another committee that allowed me to contribute, and that brought me joy. It turns out my best option was to strike off in a new direction.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

11. Next Step:  Build Team

“In creating an online time management printable for Etsy, I had done my best on Canva and added the final product to Etsy. It was not getting traction and lacked professional product appeal. After a few months, I asked a professional graphic designer to assist.  Right away, we partnered on design and marketing. My go-to strategy to get unstuck is to build a bigger team.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

 

12. Next Step:  Shift Mindset

“That period immediately after the birth of my second child, I was in bed, feeling happy but also wondering how I would break out of my long-held pattern of being very, very cluttered.  I happened to see a segment on a morning show featuring Marla Cilley, known as ‘The FlyLady,’ and I decided to order her book right then and there.  

It turned out her book, Sink Reflections, was a wonderful explanation of how even the most cluttered and distressed person can make a ‘comeback’ into a more orderly and organized existence.  It was a great help to me, but what was perhaps even more helpful was my own decision to make a change for the good of my family and myself.

I encourage anyone who might feel in a similar ‘stuck’ spot that there are so many options to try these days.  All you need to do is decide to make that shift!”

Dr. Christine Li – Clinical Psychologist, Procrastination Coach, Host of the Make Time for Success Podcast

13. Next Step:  Enlist Help

“I became a mom a year ago and was feeling very stuck in my circumstances and my mindset. I had made the decision to reduce my work to part-time and was feeling lost with the transition to motherhood while trying to run my own business as well as a household on many fewer hours and much less sleep. I knew I needed help adjusting, but I wasn't managing to get myself to that point. So I invested in myself by 1) working with Linda and 2) enrolling in a 6-week mindset program. Sometimes you need outside help, new perspectives, and something different to shake you out of a slump.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity Coach, Small Business Consultant

What was the circumstance last time you felt stuck? What next step moved you forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck and want a thought partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients to move forward. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click the purple “How Can I Help?” button below.

There are numerous sources you can use to create a vision for your New Year. Several weeks ago, I wrote about five ways to make the most of your fresh start. One idea was to select a Word of the Year, providing you with an overarching theme to bring clarity and focus to your year. Some 2022 word choices from my friends and colleagues include intentional, shine, slower, purpose, alignment, determination, consistency, integrity, growth, present, soar, and focus. Have you selected a 2022 word? My 2022 word is flourishing.

Choosing one word can be helpful, along with other possibilities. This past week, I had the opportunity to experiment with compiling one simple visual, a vision board, which incorporated all of my ideas onto a single page. I accomplished this by having some uninterrupted time and writing in my journal. I also participated in an evening retreat led by my friend and life coach Yota Schneider and a vision board creating session led by Executive Mom Nest founder Marcy Stout.

I hope you discover something in my process that will be helpful for you. 

3 Quick Ways to Create Your Vision for a Powerful Fresh Start

1. Ponder/Wander Time

When we think about creating a vision, plans, or goals, the keyword is ‘think.’ It’s essential to secure some quiet, undisturbed time for your mind to settle enough to feel and hear your heart and thoughts. I use meditation, yoga, walking, and showering as ways to calm my body and mind. In a relaxed state, my ideas flow. Even if I’m not ready to write or discuss them, ponderings begin percolating.

During Yota’s The Way Ahead retreat, I meditated, wrote, and discussed. When our evening together ended, I left with the confidence to take the time and space to create my path forward. Calm, patience, and curiosity will guide me.

2. Journaling Time

Throughout the year, I write in my personal and meditation journals. The meditation journal has daily entries, is typically about my thoughts on the meditations, and sometimes includes life challenges, successes, or discoveries. Writing in my personal journal is less frequent, but the entries are more extensive. They capture significant happenings, feelings, and thoughts throughout my year.

To prepare more thoroughly for 2022, I will reread my 2021 journal entries. I’ll be on the hunt for lessons and ah-has that will help me make sense of this past year and identify ideas I might want to work on or bring forward for this current year. 

“The quiet focus of other people working was magical.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Vision Board Time

I’ve never been a vision board maker, which is sort of funny, being how visually oriented I am. However, this year, I was encouraged to make one during an Executive Mom Nest meeting. We had a choice of going to one of three Zoom breakout rooms. I selected the “Shhhh” room to work on our vision boards while everyone was muted. 

What a productive 45-minutes! I had no expectations but came prepared with some blank paper, markers, highlighter pens, my personal journal, and an idea to somehow capture the essence of what I envisioned for 2022. 

The quiet focus of other people working was magical. I kicked into hyper-focus mode and created a vision board, which included the following elements:

• The year

• My word of the year and a definition

• My intention/guiding principle for the year

• Lessons/discoveries/ah-has from 2021 – I didn’t list the actual discoveries. Instead, I wrote down the sources I wanted to review and created a second page to capture the information.

• Three significant areas I want to focus on (Well-Being, Relationships, Professional) along with goals for each area

While I still need to do my 2021 deep dive, with this vision board in view, I feel clear about my big picture and confident with the changes I’ve already set into motion. Instead of feeling confused, I feel excited and motivated to reflect and plan.

Have you created a vision board? What was your experience like? How did it influence your year? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you’re feeling stuck with creating your vision for the New Year, I’m here to help. Let’s schedule a virtual organizing session to make your 2022 the best year ever. Email or call me at linda@ohsoorganized.com or 914-271-5673.