There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

• Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

• Hope can be the flip side of fear.

• Hope is not based on optimism.

• Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

• Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

• Hope is resistant to futility.

• Hope resides in resourcefulness.

• Hope speaks to possibilities.

“While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

• Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

• Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

• Getting a good night’s sleep

• Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

• Feeling the warm sun on your face

• Hugging your loved ones

• Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

• Planning something you will look forward to doing

• Taking a road trip, even a local one

• Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

• Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

• Learning something new

• Listening to your favorite music

• Practicing mindfulness meditation

• Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

• Helping something to grow

• Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

• Making something with your hands

• Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

• Listening to the sounds of laughter

• Laughing

• Writing in your journal

• Smiling at a stranger

• Having a ‘do nothing’ day

• Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

• Doing something outside of your comfort zone

• Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

• Noting what you are grateful for

• Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

• Refusing to give up

• Listening to your intuition

Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

We constantly receive internal and external messages. Do they help or hurt you? Have you heard of the 5:1 magic ratio? Research suggests to counteract the sticky Velcro-like negativity bias, it takes approximately five positive encounters, thoughts, or experiences for every negative one.

Consider fortifying your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits. Here are a few ways to build your reserves:

• Create a “Feel Good” file with positive emails, notes, or letters you received from family, friends, clients, or colleagues:

• Keep an ongoing gratitude list

• Connect with nature

• Prioritize self-care

• Spend time with people who energize and uplift rather than drain you

• Display positive reminders in your environment

Today, I am focusing on that last one, the visible messages you see every day. I’m sharing several of my favorites below. I’ve written before about the fidget bowl on my desk. This fun collection of miniature objects combines word reminders, trinkets from places visited, old toys, and visual and tactile delights. Playing with the tiny pieces while I’m in meetings helps me focus. Having uplifting messages front and center enhances my well-being. What encouraging messages will you surround yourself with?

7 Ways the Reminders You Display Will Help You Each Day

1. Bloom Where You’re Planted

Bloom where you’re planted encourages me to embrace the growth mindset anywhere, anytime. Every encounter, action, observation, experience, success, and failure are opportunities to learn, expand, and blossom.

2. Head & Heart

Navigating life’s hiccups and choices can be stressful. “Head & Heart” reminds me to use my cognitive and sensing gifts to support positive decisions and outcomes. While not included in this purple pin, my gut is another guiding element. When I listen, it leads me with a distinct “yes” or “no.”

3. Nourish

My Word of the Year is nourish. This essential encourages me to feed my heart, mind, and body so they feel nurtured, positive, and supported to thrive. My heart wants connection. My mind needs stimulation, and my body wants loving care.

4. You Are Here

While these words are often found to locate yourself on a map, to me, they embody presence. Especially when my mind is racing, and even when it’s not, this message prompts me to pause, notice, and ground myself with where I am, what I’m doing, what I’m feeling, and what I’m experiencing. When distracted, I use these words to gently bring me back, reset, and move on.

“Fortify your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5. Oy Vey!

Years ago, I gave my dad this blue “Oy Vey!” computer key. It became a favorite inside joke between us, and one of the many things that connected us was our shared sense of humor. This message reminds me that things in life have the potential to go sideways. However, my sense of humor can bring a brighter perspective and allow me to laugh at myself during difficult situations.

6. Radiate Positivity

According to the CliftonStrengths assessment, one of my top strengths is Positivity. Seeing the “Radiate Positivity” button helps me with several things:

• It reminds me to continuously develop and live from my strengths.

• My natural inclination towards positivity helps me be resilient and growth-oriented.

• Positivity is ‘catching,’ so my mood can have an encouraging effect on others.

7. Exhale the Bullshit

This new pin has quickly become a favorite. We all experience life ‘stuff’ (aka difficult situations, conflicts, threats, bullshit). During those challenging encounters, you can experience emotional hijacking. Stress triggers are sent to the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing. Your automatic warning system goes on high alert, and your body wants to protect you. Your heart races, your palms sweat, your face flushes, and your breathing turns rapid or shallow.

“Exhale the Bullshit” reminds me to take a deep breath through my nose and a longer exhale through my mouth. Repeating that several times, I soothe my system, access the rational part of my brain, and am better equipped to respond calmly to the circumstance.

How does having positive visual reminders help and influence your day? What helpful messages are in your view? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.