Madison Must Photography

As I sit down to write, thoughts of love, family, and a wedding swirl around my head and heart. Like a dream, I can’t believe that our youngest daughter, Cassie, married Matthew at our home one week ago. They exuded joy and love. We all felt it. By the end of the day, the back of my head ached from smiling so much. It was a good ache. There was so much love, a sense of wonderful possibilities, and hope for the future. Their celebration was a welcome bright spot in the midst of a challenging year.

My husband and I remained in the blissful wedding bubble for as long as we could. At this point, I have mostly returned to regular life. There are still a few flower bouquets reminding me that a wedding really did happen here, and some thank you notes to write. But other than that, my wedding tasks are complete, and the house is back to its pre-party state. What remains is this inner warmth from this significant time, images of tender moments, feelings of calm, and some lessons learned.

7 Lessons Learned from The Mother of the Bride

Communication

Shortly after Cassie and Matthew’s engagement last May, we started discussing the wedding. Right away, I realized we had different ideas and expectations. I recognized the importance of being open, listening, and remaining respectful of their wishes. After all, it was their wedding day. They chose to organize and handle most things and delegated some aspects to others, including me. We supported them in any way we could. Often that meant listening or offering ideas when asked. Keeping the lines of communication open was essential. 

Flexibility

A valuable life skill when making a wedding, especially during a pandemic, is flexibility. Change was the flavor of the day. The kids made plans and, because of the pandemic, had to alter them more than once. They remained flexible, and so did I. I’ll admit that I’m not naturally flexible and continue to work at it. The pandemic influenced a venue change, the wedding’s scope, the vendors, and the number of guests that could attend. Other changes happened that weren’t pandemic-related but required flexibility. Remaining nimble was a great coping strategy for all of us.

Madison Must Photography

Letting Go

As moms, we literally learn to let go from the moment our kids are born. They leave our bodies after being protectively housed for nine months. And that’s just the beginning. As our kids grow, we continue letting go in many ways. It’s useful to exercise those letting go skills when planning a wedding. There are so many things we can’t control. Recognizing that and letting go of control was key for me. It allowed me to worry less and enjoy more. The wedding was outside. Weather is one of the many things we have no control over. Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful. For example, we ordered a tent with attachable sides, in case it rained. We had control of the tent situation, but not the weather. Luckily, the wedding day was gorgeous. However, the newlyweds’ brunch on the following day was rainy, but the tent sides kept us cozy and dry.

“Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Planning

A lot of thought and organizing went into the wedding weekend. As I mentioned, Cassie and Matthew did all of the event planning. Their Google spreadsheets were amazing! However, my husband, Steve, and I had our lists too. The key was not waiting until the last minute to do things. In the months leading up to the wedding weekend, we made good use of evenings and weekends to prepare the house, clean, edit, organize, and schedule. There’s nothing quite like having a party to motivate you to get things done. I created a master list with separate projects and tasks in each section. Planning and allocating enough time to complete things made it less stressful. It also enabled me to more fully enjoy the process. I also discovered a fun fact. My daughters and I are all list-makers who prefer using a combination of digital and handwritten lists to get things done.

Madison Must Photography

Being Present

Days before the wedding, Cassie, Matthew, and our oldest daughter, Allison, arrived. What an incredible feeling to have everyone home! We’ve had very few visitors during the pandemic. I don’t remember the last time our kids were home with us for five days. What a treat! I didn’t want to miss anything. There were times when the girls were off in a corner experimenting with hair and makeup, or Matthew and Steve were in the greenhouse setting up equipment for the ceremony. At those moments, I was an observer, sensing family helping family, hearing laughter, and feeling the warmth of our house full of loved ones. At other times, I was in a doing mode. On Cassie’s wedding day, she asked us to put away our phones. She wanted the wedding photographer to be the only one taking pictures so we could be fully present. How wise. What a gift that was! It made me realize how many being present opportunities there were.

“There were many being present opportunities.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Leaning In

There were so many emotions- joy, happiness, excitement, and sadness too. It was an intense variety of feelings. I embraced them all. While I was overjoyed that the parents, one set of grandparents, siblings, and a few of the bride and groom’s friends were with us in person on the wedding day, the rest of our family and friends couldn’t be there because of pandemic restrictions.  For those who couldn't attend in person, they watched the ceremony live on Zoom. I won’t lie. I missed the physical presence of my brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends. It felt so strange to celebrate a major milestone without them. I recognize that I’m not alone. This year, many people have experienced celebrations differently. With acceptance, I leaned into my conflicting emotions- feeling the joy of being together with the people that could attend and the sadness for those that couldn’t. 

Madison Must Photography

Reflecting

When we go through significant life events, it’s important to make time to reflect on our experiences. There were so many memorable moments and feelings that replay in my mind. I know more will continue to appear, but I thought I’d share several with you.

• Hugging our kids after being physically apart for so long.

• Hearing the sweet sounds of talking, giggling, and laughter fill our home.

• Spending time setting up, eating, and walking in the woods with our family and Matthew’s parents and three brothers the day before the wedding. 

• Experiencing the poignancy of painting Cassie’s finger and toenails the night before her wedding day and remembering how I used to paint her nails when she was little.

• Watching Allison dote over Cassie during the wedding weekend, as she helped with her hair and makeup, and anything she needed.

• Seeing my handsome husband all dressed-up as the Father of the Bride.

• Feeling grateful to meet Matthew’s grandparents and have them with us as they watched their first grandchild marry.

• Bursting into tears when moments before we walked Cassie down the aisle, I saw my mother, brother, and sister on Zoom waiting to watch the ceremony. I missed them so, yet felt their love and support.

• Feeling the swell of emotions as Steve and I walked Cassie down the aisle.

• Watching Matthew’s loving expression and tears as he saw Cassie in her wedding dress for the first time.

• During the ceremony, seeing Cassie and Matthew hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes as tears streamed down their faces.

• Feeling grateful for our new, wonderful son.

• Listening to the beautiful, emotional toast Allison gave to Cassie and Matthew on their wedding day.

• Seeing the joy between Steve and Cassie during their father/daughter dance.

• Watching how our beautiful Cassie seemed to float on air the entire day.

• Sitting down on the sofa with Steve after everyone left, feeling exhausted, elated, and amazed at how quickly the time passed.

• Feeling grateful for messages of love, good wishes, and support from our family and friends.

• Realizing that our little girl is all grown up and married.

• Feeling hope and possibilities for Cassie and Matthew for a life filled with love, connection, and family.

Madison Must Photography

We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest of days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities. These celebratory days with Cassie and Matthew’s marriage affirmed that light, love, hope, and possibilities are present. Have you recently experienced something in your life that has inspired possibilities for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There is an undercurrent now of intense change and anxiety in our lives, which influences how we feel. However, even with the pandemic, political, social, economic, and personal angst, other changes are happening, which inspire positive possibilities. As a visually-oriented person, I am in awe of the fall landscape shifts, which amaze and delight my being. 

Each day I discover something new. Maybe some leaves change to yellow, orange, or red. A tree bursting with bright colors one day is letting go of its’ leaves the next.

Fall is an active, robust, and inspiring season of change. It sets the stage for possibilities, as nature cues us to follow her lead. Are you sensing the nudge?

This season I have several things going on personally and professionally. It’s an exciting time. Our youngest daughter, Cassie, is getting married this week. Talk about possibilities! She’s about to embark on married life, and we will officially welcome our new son to the family. Since the celebration will be at our home, my husband and I have been getting the house wedding-ready. We’ve been organizing, decluttering, cleaning, and painting. Yes. Organizers need to declutter too. There is nothing quite as motivating as having a party to get things done. 

“Fall sets the stage for possibilities, as nature cues us to follow her lead.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

In the organizing world, I’m looking forward to attending several conferences, virtually, of course. I’m also continuing to do virtual organizing sessions with existing and new clients. It’s exciting to support them as they navigate change and possibilities.

Are you anticipating possibilities? What will this season bring? What inspires you? What are you looking forward to doing, accomplishing, or experiencing this season? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

There are times when you’re on a journey, and certain things begin to connect. An idea from one place melds into a concept from a completely different corner of your life. Something you’re focusing on begins appearing everywhere. For example, if you start organizing, randomly, other friends and strangers share their organizing stories with you. Or have you ever bought a new car and then you start noticing on the road tons of that exact car? This frequently happens to me each month when I write about a singular blog theme. Conversations and observations about that idea seem to find me.  Or do I find them? What we look for appears. How does this apply to possibilities? I’m glad you asked.

This month on the blog possibilities is my theme. Since this is the last post of the month, I’m writing about perspective and possibilities. The idea for this post came from a recent session with my coach. I said something like,

“I’ve noticed a shift that I was feeling open to this process, and now I feel more unsure.”

My coach suggested that I write about that difference.

Then something else happened. I was in yoga class. And just to clarify, I’m new to yoga. This was only my third class. One of the things I love about the teacher is his philosophical life lesson that precedes doing actual yoga. At this session, he was talking about distracting thoughts and the choice we have with engagement. We can move towards or away from them. Then he used the phrase “ocean of possibilities.”  I heard an imaginary bell sounding like, “Ding, ding, ding!”

The two separate situations informed each other. In the context that we all have an ocean of possibilities before us, how you perceive those opportunities will significantly influence your path forward.

Here are some questions to consider:

Does being unsure negatively affect your engagement in possibilities?

Does uncertainty prevent you from experimenting?

Does being unsure make you want to retreat to your comfort zone?

Does uncertainty make you fearful?

Does being unsure make you want to give up?

Is your mindset fixed?

Or . . .

How do you approach vast options? 

Are you available to try something new?

Are you willing to experiment and stretch?

Are you open to not knowing the outcome?

Are you able to stay curious?

Are you able to let go of the result?

Is your mindset one of growth and learning?

Here’s the fascinating thing. I suspect that, like most journeys, there isn’t a single way of being. We go through non-linear phases with twists and turns. So we may have moments of bravery when we’re feeling positive and open to new possibilities. And other times, we retreat because things are not going along as quickly or as smoothly or as  _________ (fill in the blank) as we expected.

Perhaps the thought of expectations puts restrictions on our journey. Can we be open, yet also expect? I’m not sure about that.

In the ocean of possibilities that are present, I strive to have an open heart and mind as I move forward. But I also realize that there will be bumps and setbacks along the way. On those days, uncertainty will get the better or me.  Then I’ll find an opening. I’ll face my fear. I’ll reset and remind myself that out of uncertainty comes stretching in ways I never imagined, like in yoga class. While I don’t know where the journey will lead, I am excited about the growth and learning along the way.

What have you noticed about being open or unsure when faced with new possibilities and choices? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

With the change of seasons and this gorgeous fall in full swing, it is the ideal time to reset and rethink. By doing some preparation, you will be ready to embrace possibilities that you might not have considered.

In this Smead Keeping You Organized podcast with my friend, John Hunt, we talk about five ways to prepare for your organizing success and more by combining action with mindfulness practices.

The path forward includes . . .

1. Do one thing. – Single versus multi-focus.

2. Open up thinking. – Awareness of digging in versus leaning towards change.

3. Say “yes” to now. – Focus on the present.

4. Embrace “niksen.” – Doing nothing or being idle as a form of rejuvenating.

5. Acknowledge uncertainty. – Understanding that uncertainty will be part of your journey.

To learn more, listen to the podcast below. Or, check out the post, 5 Powerful Ways That Will Prep You for Organizing Success & More.

What helps prepare you for success and new possibilities? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.