Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Do you ever feel like the universe sends you a message you need to hear? It happened to me this week. Interestingly, what I received related to the letting go theme I’m writing about this month.

You might have read about last week’s letting go mishap when I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. I recovered, only to be challenged by another ‘adventure’ this week. It’s a doozy! Clearly, the universe thinks I need more letting go practice.

Midweek, I woke up with 500+ other neighbors to the surprise of no Internet or phone due to “cut fibers.” Our service provider assured me it would be fixed within 24 hours, which seemed reasonable. However, I was on a deadline. I was putting the finishing touches on a Zoom workshop being presented the following day. While I had no choice in the technology glitch (it happened and was being worked on,) I did have a choice in how I responded.

There was some initial panic, where I engaged in numerous “what if?” scenarios.

• What if it’s not fixed in time and I can’t present my workshop?

• What if I can’t access the information I need to compile my notes?

• What if the calm day I planned is turned upside down?

• What if…?

After the panic, technology assessment, and the realization that I could do nothing at that moment, I started letting go. I talked calmly to myself so I could switch gears and put my energy toward completing my workshop notes. I couldn’t afford to have my attitude sabotage the day. Instead, I focused on what I could work on. I let go of what I had no control over, did some creative problem-solving, and stopped the worry-stress-negative self-talk-loop.

I went to Starbucks in the afternoon for Internet access and a much-needed coffee break. I checked a few resources for my notes and caught up on email. I sat by the river and walked down the block to smell the fragrant lilacs. These actions kept me calm and focused.

“Let go of what you have no control over.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

By the evening, I finished my workshop notes and made alternate plans for presenting if I had no Internet the next day. I also realized how much more I accomplished without interruptions or distractions from the Internet, social media, and the phone.

Are you curious about what happened? When I woke the next day, the Internet and phones were restored. I gave my workshop, which went well, with good attendance and participation. Can you hear my giant exhale?

Life is full of surprises and curve balls. You can’t anticipate when they’ll arrive or what they’ll be. But as always, you do have a choice in how to respond. You can get stuck and paralyzed by the emergency or let go to allow focus, resilience, creativity, and growth to thrive.

How does letting go show up in your life? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We are still at the beginning of the New Year, yet we can embrace a fresh start at any time. You can begin again any moment, minute, hour, day, month, season, or year. Your attitude about ‘new’ can determine an optimistic or pessimistic start. 

While I feel incredibly energized in January, I also regularly experience a positive anticipatory sense at the beginning of each day. Most mornings when I wake, I am energized by the clean slate and promise a new day brings with its plans, surprises, and quiet moments that will unfold. 

To understand other views, I was curious what my thoughtful colleagues’ perspectives were about fresh starts and new beginnings. I reached out to this generous group – Al Bingham, Felice Cohen, Juliet Landau-Pope, Christine Li, and Yota Schneider. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt-

How do you make the most of a fresh start?

Their diverse responses include having no expectations to delving deeply. My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us.

5 Best Ideas to Help You Make a Promising Fresh Start

1. Remain Open

“I make the most of a fresh start by trying to have ZERO assumptions about what is going to happen. That way, I remain open to what might be and not wound up by what I might expect to happen when I often have no idea what might actually happen. When I have no assumptions or expectations going in, I can enjoy the process and the eventual outcome without having them mean anything negative about me — and that is a wonderful thing.” 

Christine Li, Ph.D. – Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist, Make Time for Success podcast Host

 2. Stay Focused

“I think of every day as a fresh start, a new beginning, a new chance to get things done. To help make the day productive, each day starts with a clean To-Do list. A list offers steps to follow, guides you toward a goal, and keeps you on target to avoid falling down a TikTok rabbit hole. (Use TikTok as a reward for finishing a task on the list.) Every task completed, whether easy or time-consuming, motivates you toward completing another. Then another. Remember, you don’t have to get it all done today; there’s always tomorrow.”

Felice Cohen – Author, Speaker, Professional Organizer

3. Be Present

“Faced with a fresh challenge, it’s tempting to look back, reviewing previous efforts and setbacks. Or perhaps to project into the future, speculating on possible outcomes. While there’s much to be learned from looking back and forward, both drive you into your head, fuelling fears and fantasies rather than forward into action. No wonder over-thinking is a common cause of procrastination. If you aim to boost motivation, adopt a more mindful approach to your present situation. Focus on what matters most, right here, right now. Then identify the very first step and take the leap.”

Juliet Landau-Pope MA, PG Cert AP, CPCC, FRSA – Productivity Coach, Virtual Organizer

“We are still at the beginning of a New Year, yet we can embrace a fresh start at any time.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

 4. Manifest Attention

“During the big reveal on makeover shows, the heroes don’t endlessly harp on how lousy things were before. Instead, there are tears of joy, wonder, gratitude, and love for the fresh start they’re receiving. Discomfort and dismay may provide sparks that light the desire for change, but they're a lousy fuel source for enacting it. A fresh start involves three primal actions: bringing something forward, organizing it, and releasing something. Each needs careful attention. Love, wonder, and gratitude helps keep things roaring. When these ‘ends’ inform your ‘means,’ your awareness remains open to finding novel paths forward during the refresh process!” 

Al Bingham, e-RYT500, YACEP, FAFS – Yoga Teacher, Author

 5. Nurture Reflection

"At the threshold of a new beginning, it is important to stay open, curious, and honest. If I don’t want old patterns repeating themselves, I have to decide what to leave behind and how to show up. I love taking long walks and drives and having intimate conversations with myself. I reflect on what I love about this fresh start. Then I ask, what are my fears? What habits, behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes could undermine me? Am I ready to let them go? What’s next? As answers and insights bubble up, I grow more confident, clear, and excited about the journey ahead."

Yota Schneider – Life Coach, Retreat Facilitator, Blogger

While January is almost over, there will be more opportunities for fresh starts. What helps you make the most of a fresh start? Are there specific periods you are more energized than others? Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Over the past few days, I had several outdoor opportunities to appreciate the changing fall landscape. One of my favorite things to do is to walk and take photos while breathing in the fresh air, wooded and water scenes, and scents that surround me.  What I enjoyed most on these walks were the lovely surprises. Each one lifted my spirits and made my heart beat faster. The sightings included the bright purple (yes, purple!) berries and the bush with the half red and half green leaf. Each finding inspired a sense of awe, change, and possibilities.

These ideas relate to my organizing work with clients. There are always discoveries as in lost things that get found. There are possibilities inherent in transforming a cluttered space into one that functions as intended; free from unwanted objects. There is the pursuit of change along with excitement about possibilities. Perhaps one of the results I treasure most is seeing how happy my clients are after we’ve cleared and organized a space. They feel lightness, relief, and hope.

So when I notice a leaf changing color or a serene river landscape that too brings happiness, hope, and an opening for new possibilities. I’d like to share some of my recent sightings with you. I hope the scenes inspire you to create your possibility intentions.

Click to watch video . . .

What surprises have you discovered this fall? What possibilities are you noticing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to come and join the conversation.