Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Have you ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure about how to move forward? If so, you’re not alone. It’s fascinating how, when you’re in that stuck mode, time seems to slow down like the speed of molasses dripping from a spoon. It can feel challenging to activate and figure out what to do next. When you’re in an overwhelmed-and-stuck-headspace, negative thoughts can pile on, adding another layer of complication.

This ‘stuck’ place is often the starting point for my virtual organizing clients. One of my greatest joys is facilitating change so my clients can reach their goals and focus on what is most important to them. When my clients make time with me to think, question, and process, it gives them the space to find their way forward. Recently, I worked with clients to create portable workspaces, refine paper management and workflow systems, establish time and scheduling boundaries, prioritize to-do lists, and declutter spaces that had been piled for years.

If you find yourself in this overwhelmed, stymied place and are unsure how to move forward, the first step is identifying it. Then acknowledge this is an area for growth and say, “That’s my work.”

Stop beating yourself up. Refrain from going into negative self-talk or black and white thinking with “I’ll never get organized” or “I’m always going to be overwhelmed.” Stop perpetuating untruths.

“That’s my work.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD, CVOP™

Instead, see where you are stuck and simply, gently, and matter-of-factly repeat, “That’s my work.” It’s your opportunity to develop. What you choose to do next might be breathing and decluttering one big pile. Or, you might decide to enlist help from a trusted family member, friend, or professional organizer like me. Having a buddy as you sort, edit, and ponder can be valuable.

However you choose to move ahead when you’re bothered, stuck, or overwhelmed, remind yourself, “That’s my work.” Then lean in and seize the opening to make a change. It’s time. You can find your way forward.

How do you respond when you are stuck? Do you go it alone or reach out for help? What helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s a transition time as we shift from spring to summer. While it’s officially not summer yet, school has ended or is about to. Graduation parties and celebrations are in full swing, vacation plans, and summer camp arrangements are happening, and many of us want a change of pace. Life is full. There are times when days fly by with one thing after the next. No breaks, just a continual tempo of go, go, going. Does that sound familiar?

I strike a reasonable balance between doing and not doing on most days. However, my strong internal motivation makes it challenging to feel OK with not achieving, accomplishing, or moving the newest project forward. I recognize the importance of rest. I’m not talking about sleep. We definitely need sleep to function well. The rest I’m referring to is a pause or break. Taking a short time away from your schedule can significantly improve your state of mind. Meditate, sit in the sun, listen to the fountain water flowing, or watch the grasses moving in the breeze. If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out. What’s the point of that? Is it time for a pause?

This transition period can cause overwhelm and stress from the demands of your to-do lists, commitments, and lack of time. I’m sharing a personal journal entry I wrote recently about the value of the pause. During a retreat led by my wonderful friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she guided us in a group meditation and offered a prompt about “What does your ship need?” We did a ‘free write,’ reflecting on what came up during the quiet.

LINDA’S JOURNAL ENTRY

A few thoughts were prompted by these things- my ‘wander’ coffee mug, being on the water in a kyack without my life preserver, and the desire to float.

Leaving the port or landing, I headed up the river in the bright fuschia-colored kyack. Low to the water, I paddled upstream and noticed I had no life preserver. I always wear one, but not this time.

I kept paddling and then stopped to float. The sun warmed me as the gentle breeze created a beautiful counterbalance- keeping my skin at a ‘just right’ temperature.

I was there on the river as I floated, doing nothing, going nowhere in particular. Enjoying the being-ness of being. I thought of my ‘wander’ mug that I love sipping my morning coffee from on certain days. The cup isn’t picked on the highly scheduled days. On those days, it's likely the ‘be curious’ mug I choose. But on my float days, ‘wander’ is the cup of choice.

So as I drifted without paddling, feeling the warm sun and the gentle breeze, I knew deep within my soul that it was my desire, my intense desire not only to NOT do but to be completely content not doing or accomplishing or seeking.

It was a float day. It was a time of wander, a time to just be present as my kyack, this soothing vessel helped me journey on this much-needed pause.

“If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Is it time for a break? What value would that have? What does a great pause feel like to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.