Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Are you feeling the fast whoosh of time passing with the holiday season arriving, the elections looming, and the year ending? It’s a lot to take in. You may feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re thinking about what goals you wanted to accomplish this year, the time left to do it, and what is actually possible.

Maybe your thoughts are occupied with ‘regular’ life maintenance to-dos plus hundreds of holiday-related tasks, including gift shopping, holiday meal prepping, guestroom readying, travel planning, and family and friends’ gatherings.

Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.

I often say that life is in the joyful doing and presence of the moment. And while that’s all well and good, when you’re stressed and overwhelmed, accessing that presence can be more challenging.

With so much going on with work and family, externally and internally, this time of year, making tiny adjustments is helpful. Infusing compassion and mindfulness into your thoughts and actions will encourage a more joyful, fulfilling, and happier holiday season.

I offer you a thought, question, and strategy to help.

3 Ways to Prepare for a Compassionate Holiday Season

1. One Thought: “We don’t have to be perfect.”

Let’s remove the idea of perfection from the holiday season. Why impose more pressure, stress, or unrealistic expectations on yourself or others?

Try channeling your perfectionism energy differently. Focus your energy on one of these options instead:

• Excellence

• Personal best

• Good enough

• Progress

• Ease

• Done

As the Noom app said about overcoming thought distortions, “…it’s about recognizing that we don’t have to be perfect. We’re human.”

Which reframe of perfectionism (one suggested or something else) is helpful for you?

“Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. One Question: “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

One of my favorite recent discoveries is James Clear’s weekly 3-2-1 email, which my client told me about. The idea he wrote about last month feels relevant and worth sharing.

Clear wrote, “Forget about the outcome and focus on what precedes it.” He asks, “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

Consider Clear’s question in the context of which actions and thoughts you can focus on to create a joyful, compassion-filled holiday season. They might include:

• Planning

• Lowering your expectations

• Creating boundaries

• Simplifying goals and tasks

• Decluttering

• Scheduling rest and renewal time

What will you choose to focus on to create a positive holiday season?

“We don’t have to be perfect.”

— James Clear

3. One Strategy: “Accept help.”

Do you tend to do everything yourself? Perhaps you don’t want to impose on others. Or, Seth Godin suggests you might think, “Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help.” Either philosophy results in you doing all the work, which can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Neither of those is a recipe for happy holidays.

Whatever the season, enlisting and accepting help improves your life. We’re human and benefit from the support and interactions with others. What type of help will benefit your life and infuse more ease? Who can you ask for help? How will that change your experience? If you’re having guests over and they offer to help, lean in and say “Yes.” Have tasks ready to delegate. It will make them feel comfortable and reduce pressure from your list.

Godin says, “It’s much more productive to accept help. When we have a project, part of the work is to enlist others in figuring out how to make the change we seek.”

Let me know if you’re stressed and need a thought partner, decluttering and organizing guide, planning help, or accountability buddy. In my virtual organizing sessions, I offer one-hour focused sessions, ongoing support, and personalized guidance to help you with your goals and challenges. I’m available and am ready to help.

Human Holiday

Do you know the 1953 movie Roman Holiday, starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck? This season, I encourage you to embody a Human Holiday.

• Let go of what you can.

• Invite in what you want.

• Enlist the help you need.

For a less stressful and happier holiday season and beyond, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Is it only me, or has your plate also become fuller since the start of the fall season? After returning from our last trip of the summer, reality hit.

There were workshops to create and make progress on. Interactions with new, returning, and potential organizing clients ramped up, and volunteer activities went into full gear. Add to these the holidays, upcoming conference travel, and my new Mindful Organizing workshop launching this week. These make my to-do list more intense than usual. This burst of activity pulses through my mind and body.

While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with having a full plate, I am reminded of a mindfulness meditation practice I worked with a while ago. Using the Insight Timer app, I listened to Justin Francisco’s meditation, Drop Your To-Do List and Just Be. It was a message I needed to hear. After meditating, I added a note to my to-do list about using this idea for a future blog post. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

It was also helpful to understand the difference between Justin’s Just Be List and my To-Don’t List, which I’ve written about before.

Justin makes the case about the benefits of taking time to just be and do nothing. This seems more viable when we’re on vacation or have less going on. I get that. I am internally driven to accomplish and be productive, but I sometimes struggle to reconcile how much I need those deep pauses. However, I have experienced the value of stopping, even briefly, and recognize the tremendous benefits of taking do-nothing breaks.

What are you in the thick of?

• Are you overwhelmed with the clutter in your home?

• Are you frustrated with your organizing systems?

• Is your schedule overflowing?

• Are you trying to create a better balance between work and personal time?

• Are you working on new projects, which make it difficult to focus on anything else?

• Is your to-do list so extensive that you can’t decide what to do next?

“There are tremendous benefits to taking do-nothing breaks.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Just Be List

When you have a lot going on, it may feel like the obvious first step is to take action and work more. While those will be essential to move forward, consider this alternative. When your mind is racing and you’re stressed, it’s more challenging to focus. This is an excellent time to pause and do nothing. You’ll return refreshed after your do-nothing break. You can mindfully. . . 

• Stare out of the window.

• Step outside to feel the sun and cool fall breeze on your skin.

• Sit and close your eyes for a few moments.

• Lay down with a cozy blanket and take a short nap.

• Plop onto the couch and stare at the ceiling.

• Notice the inhale and exhale movements of your breath.

• Listen to the sounds around you.

• Watch the flames flicker as you smell the scent of your favorite candle.

While doing nothing, do only that. No scrolling, list-making, or thinking about what you’ll do next. If doing nothing feels too challenging, set a timer. Give yourself 10, 15, or 20 minutes to disengage. When the buzzer dings, return to your to-list and select one small thing to focus on.

Notice how that felt. In which ways was your pause beneficial? After your break, did you feel refreshed? Were you more motivated? Could you more easily select and engage in that next small action step? How will you experiment again with just being?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’ve all been through a lot with the pandemic, change, loss, political unrest, uncertainty, and this sense that life is and will continue to be different. We’ve had to be flexible, resilient, and creative. Last year, many of us canceled Thanksgiving and other holidays that we usually celebrated. Instead, we found different ways to “be together.” Zoom was our new best friend. It was a lost year of non-celebrations and sadness for some of us because we missed the human contact and in-person gatherings. 

Personally, I’ve felt a great hole from the loss of my mom, who died this year. Yet somehow, as the months have passed, while I miss her greatly, I’m also feeling such gratitude for the wonderful people who are here. Through the tumult, friends, family, and colleagues have brought moments of joy and lightness to a challenging time. We’ve stayed connected through texts, emails, phone calls, social media, Zoom, FaceTime, and in person. 

My conversations this fall, which often were “walk and talks,” covered everything from challenges to successes, plans, hopes, dreams, family, friends, work, travel, feelings, stories, tears, laughter, and so much more. Many of these treasured moments happened while we walked side-by-side, taking in the beautiful views of nature or hearing the crunch of the leaves as our feet made contact with the forest floor. 

What does any of this have to do with organizing? Organizing can be about managing our physical stuff and also how we use and prioritize our time. Between pivoting my business to virtual organizing and letting go of things to “live with less,” I made time to stay connected. Life isn’t all about working and doing. It’s also about having time with the special people in your life. 

“Life isn’t all about working and doing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I am so profoundly grateful for my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. Life would not be the same without you. There are too many people to name. But I’d like to give a special shout-out to my wonderful husband, Steve, our amazing kiddos Cassie and Allison, and beautiful friends old and new Joanne, Yota, Christine, and Juliet. Thank you for the many ways you share your wisdom, love, and light.

Grateful for wonderful family and friends who bring their special blend of wisdom, compassion, humor, love, and light to this world.

As we navigate the holiday season, who do you want to connect with? Who are you grateful for? How do you connect with the people most important to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.