When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

• Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

• Hope can be the flip side of fear.

• Hope is not based on optimism.

• Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

• Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

• Hope is resistant to futility.

• Hope resides in resourcefulness.

• Hope speaks to possibilities.

“While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

• Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

• Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

• Getting a good night’s sleep

• Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

• Feeling the warm sun on your face

• Hugging your loved ones

• Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

• Planning something you will look forward to doing

• Taking a road trip, even a local one

• Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

• Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

• Learning something new

• Listening to your favorite music

• Practicing mindfulness meditation

• Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

• Helping something to grow

• Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

• Making something with your hands

• Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

• Listening to the sounds of laughter

• Laughing

• Writing in your journal

• Smiling at a stranger

• Having a ‘do nothing’ day

• Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

• Doing something outside of your comfort zone

• Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

• Noting what you are grateful for

• Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

• Refusing to give up

• Listening to your intuition

Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

One of the treasures of being human is our capacity for thought. Ideas that visit your mind can become seeds for creating marvelous inventions or provocative works of art. Your thoughts can turn into action for self-change or positive advances in the world. Thoughts can foster compassion for people in distress or motivate you forward.

What happens when you have unhelpful thoughts? Have you ever engaged in negative self-talk, unnecessary doubt, self-sabotaging thoughts, or word loops that keep you stuck? I have and so have many of my clients. It’s not productive or helpful, but it is a common human experience.

Years ago, I traveled to Austin for an organizing conference. During one of the breaks, I walked into town and discovered this message spray-painted onto the side of a building. It said, “We don’t say fried. We say, deep sauté.” Talk about a reframe! Some of you will agree that eating fried foods isn’t the healthiest choice. Saying “deep sauté” instead doesn’t make the food more nutritious, but it immediately changes my perspective to something more positive. That is the power of the reframe.

While I’m not encouraging you to eat more fried or deep-sauteed foods, I suggest you use this concept to adjust your negative self-talk and other unproductive thoughts.

Let’s test some out.

Instead of:                                          Use:

I’ve never been organized.                 I’m learning to get organized.

My clutter is overwhelming.               I am decluttering a little bit each day.

I don’t know how to get organized.   I will reach out for organizing help.

I’m not good enough.                         I am enough.

I have so much to do.                         I get to focus on what is most important.

“One of the treasures of being human is our capacity for thought.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

What are some of the negative, self-sabotaging thoughts you have? What are alternate reframes? Does it help you think differently by changing your perspective? Your mind can be channeled in many ways.

The next time you’re going down the adverse rabbit hole, stop. Reframe and adjust your thoughts in a more supportive direction. If you need help reframing and activating, I’m just a phone call or email away. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to reach out and/or join the conversation.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. Are you ready? I’m not, but I will be by the time people arrive. I’m pacing myself. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sure. I love preparing and eating yummy foods like cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. As delicious as those foods are, I am most grateful for having our family and friends bring their warm, loving energy into our home. I can’t wait to welcome everyone!

Due to the pandemic, we didn’t have a big group (or any group) for the past few Thanksgivings. But this year, my husband and I are preparing for 24 guests. Full disclosure. After a few years off, I feel a bit out of practice. How are you feeling about hosting or attending a gathering? Are you nervous, anxious, or excited?

As I round the event week corner, I realize there are several things I need to acknowledge and prepare so I will be and feel ready. I hope these ideas will help you too.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Head, Heart, & Home for Thanksgiving

1. Let Go

A lot of things are happening right now for me. We’re upgrading our electricity at home, working on fixes for my sluggish computer, creating a new workshop, working with organizing clients, and thinking about Thanksgiving prep. Guess what? Especially with the disruptions in my environment from the renovation and computer challenges, my mental energy is low. As humans, we often find ourselves juggling multiple things. Does that feel familiar?

Right now, the best I can do is to let go. I’m not talking about ball-dropping. Instead, I’m referring to slightly lowering the expectation bar and not trying to control everything. That means- responding to emails in an appropriate but not immediate timeframe, suspending the worry loop, not scheduling more things this week, and not trying to do everything myself. My mantra these days is, “It’s going to be OK.”

What can you let go of?

2. Take Care

As things have gotten more hectic, I’ve noticed that some of the great habits I built this year have slipped. I still walk, but those 10,000 steps a day are more elusive to hit. My goal to only eat a sweet treat once or twice weekly has been broken. Don’t judge. Instead of getting mad at myself, I’m extending some grace and focusing on the self-care pieces I am doing.

These include meditating daily, logging my food, getting adequate sleep, drinking enough liquid, eating healthy food, journaling, and staying in touch with family and friends.

I recognize there will be time to refocus on resetting the good habits I’ve let slide. But now, I’m offering myself a gentler perspective. I’m doing what I can while factoring my extra stress. My reminder is, “Be kind to yourself.”

3. Work the Lists

Are you a list maker? I am. Lists provide a great source of relief because they help me stay focused on what’s most important, provide a road map to organize a big event or project, and give me satisfaction (yay, endorphin ping!) when I cross an item off. Done feels great!

While I haven’t accomplished most of my Thanksgiving tasks yet, I updated my three lists to help me organize for the week. Reviewing and updating was confidence-boosting. My lists include:

• Thanksgiving List – High-level plan including guests, what’s being served, who’s bringing what, and tasks.

• Thanksgiving Shopping List – Details the dates, stores to shop, and specific items to purchase.

• Thanksgiving To Do Plan – Organizes tasks by day. For example, today includes updating Thanksgiving lists (done,) writing a blog post (will be done by the time you’re reading this,) and assessing paper goods.

Talking about working the lists, my husband and I have been tag-teaming it for decades. We’ve hosted hundreds of gatherings and events. Guess what? Steve has his own lists, which are more detailed than mine. Do you prefer sticky notes organized on a wall, electronic lists, bullet journals, or lined notebook paper? What’s important is creating an effective way to track and organize your tasks. Use what works for you.

What list-making method do you like?

“It’s going to be OK.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Ask for Help

Thank goodness we are in this world together. It’s important to acknowledge when you need help. For instance, as much as I’d love to rewire our house myself (not really), it’s not my skill set. I am grateful for our electrician, who is the expert and knows how to get this done. With my computer, I tried using Apple support. But after two frustrating weeks of troubleshooting with no success, I finally hired an onsite tech person to diagnose and fix the problems. My computer runs better and faster, and I have concrete next steps. In addition, I have a complete understanding of what was going on.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, Steve and I do most of the prep work. However, there are many opportunities to enlist help. I’m so grateful our kids are arriving early to help with table set-up, cooking, errands, and more. Some guests have offered to bring food, which I gratefully accept. On the day of, others will offer to set up food, clear dishes, refill the ice bucket, serve food, or move furniture around. I won’t be shy about asking for or accepting help. It takes a village, folks.

What help do you need now?

5. Feel the Joy

Laughter, love, and smiling faces. Hugs, conversations, and unforgettable moments. Getting caught up in the stress and pressure of doing and preparing is so easy. While it will take focus and effort to create our Thanksgiving gathering, I don’t want to get so stressed out that I miss the joy of being with loved ones. I am committed to finding all the joy opportunities- baking pies, setting the table, sweeping the front path, hugging my loved ones, gathering around the table for a meal, watching people enjoy each other’s company, and feeling a house full of love.

What joyful moments are you anticipating?

From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. What can you do today to reduce stress and increase joy? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. ”

— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

• Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

• Spend time with my loved ones

• Walk along the river and in the woods

• Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

• Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

• What amazing things will you breathe in?

I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

• Figure out what tech steps are needed next

• Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

• What awful things are you navigating?

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

• Do my daily mindfulness meditation

• Practice yoga

• Journal

• Brush my teeth

• Shower

• Organize my days

• Get into bed at night

• What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.