Posts tagged Oliver Burkeman
How to More Easily Approach the Next Thing by Not Imposing Toxic Preconditions

Do you create obstacles for yourself before embarking on the next step? These might include a list of self-imposed pre-requirements before you can take the next step or tackle a new project.

Perhaps your goal is spring cleaning and organizing. While that’s a great goal, instead of beginning the process, you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step.

For instance, you prefer tackling this project in big time blocks rather than shorter, focused sessions. However, your life commitments and energy levels aren’t conducive to organizing three, four, or five hours at a time.

As a result, what happens? Things stagnate because you don’t have large swaths of time to move your project forward. You frontloaded the project with an obstacle that closed your mind to alternative solutions and experimentation.

Does this sound familiar?

 

What Are Toxic Preconditions?

A few weeks ago, I discovered the term “toxic preconditions” in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist. He learned this concept from James Horton, a social scientist who questioned why people who want to write more don’t.

Horton observed that some aspiring writers had “misguided beliefs” that might have seemed helpful but undermined their confidence, causing them to write less or not at all.

Burkeman says that what’s behind toxic preconditions is “the strong desire we have for some kind of guarantee – before we embark on a new activity, or even allow ourselves to relax into life – that it’ll all unfold safely and securely, that we’ll retain the feeling of being in control.”

He advocates how freeing it is to let go of that need for a “guarantee.” Burkeman says, “Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.” He goes on to say, “You never had control; all you had was anxiety.”

Do you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step?
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Letting Go of Toxic Preconditions

There are three aspects for releasing toxic preconditions:

1. Observe – Notice when you are putting up obstacles to the extent that you can’t move toward your goal or next step.

2. Accept – Acknowledge there are no guarantees. Instead, move forward with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to experiment.

3. ReleaseLet go of any preconditions that are toxic. Be willing to take that next step without first doing a, b, c, d, or e. Go forth without all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed.

I want to re-establish my daily walking habit. In the past months, I put up obstacles based on the weather, which I can’t control. I won't walk every day if I’m only willing to walk when it’s warm and sunny. I’ve been telling myself, “It’s too cold.” Or, “It’s too dreary.” If, instead, I adjust the parameters, like the length of a walk, wearing more layers, or walking inside instead of out, I’ll be more likely to reach my daily walking goal.

Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.
— Oliver Burkeman

What’s On the Other Side of Toxicity?

Let’s face it. Life has challenges. However, how often do you create obstacles and make things more complicated than necessary? If you tend to hinder your progress, I encourage you to explore new options. Release those toxic preconditions that aren’t serving you. Experience more movement, flow, and success.

Have you encountered toxic preconditions in others or yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, planning, or working on that next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Figuring out next is possible, especially with support.

 
 
Three Surprising Lessons to Find Next in a Quiet and Curious Way

Have you experienced stress and anxiety when working out what to do next? Those negative emotions and thought loops can contribute to doubt and inaction.

What if instead, you chose a more supportive way forward? What if next wasn’t so stressful?

There are lessons to learn about figuring out what’s next from various sources. These can help you progress in a quieter, more curious, and gentler manner. How would it feel if the next step was less contentious?

I will share three sources that have inspired and helped me: a crocus, a quote, and a message. I hope they will be helpful for you, too.

 

 

Three Lessons About Next

1. The Purple Crocus

I’m taking one cue about next from nature’s playbook. Spring is my favorite time of year. While I love the entire season, I especially enjoy pre-spring. Seeing tiny signs of color and growth slowly transform the gray winterscape is uplifting.

One of my most joyful sightings is when the purple crocuses with their bright green stems emerge from the dirt to bask in the sunshine. I’ve often written about my delight in spotting the crocuses and the hopeful feelings they evoke.

Lesson for Finding Next: Channel the confidence and energy of the crocus. Envision yourself emerging from indecision and gently take your next step. Allow the hopeful feeling that new growth brings to guide you forward. The crocuses bloom, and so will you.

 

2. The Quiet Quote

In Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks, he shared a Carl Jung quote about next that resonated with me. I thought you would appreciate it, too. Jung said,

 

“. . . quietly do the next most necessary thing.”

 

I love the emphasis on “quietly.” Do you often go forth loudly, brimming with self-doubt, putting up obstacles, or fighting every step of the way? Instead, what if you approached that next thing in a calmer, lower volume manner?

Lesson for Finding Next: Change the volume of your approach to next. Turn down the sound and minimize the obstacles to help you find next with greater clarity, curiosity, and focus.

. . . quietly do the next most necessary thing.
— Carl Jung

3. The Internal Message

The messages you tell yourself can help or hinder progress. I recently wrote about deviating from my routine for wrapping up last year and planning the current year. My departure from previous patterns, wasn’t just a change. It was more like I didn’t do any of those rituals, at least, not in the formal way I had been for many years.

Wrapping up the year and planning for the future involves several steps and requires considerable time. Given all that was going on, it didn’t happen. Here we are and it’s almost spring. I officially decided to stop berating myself for not accomplishing my self-imposed expectation, and instead focus on what makes sense at this juncture.

One of the tasks was figuring out my motto for the new year. It didn’t happen. Instead, I decided that the theme from last year, which served me well, gets to have another year to work its magic. With quiet ease and a gentle prompt, I remind myself, “You got this.”

Lesson for Finding Next: Repeating something that works isn’t cheating. Using the familiar to build from is a kinder, gentler path forward. Next doesn’t have to be complicated or completely different. Let next make sense for this present moment.

 

  

Reimagining How Next Happens

There are various ways to reduce stress and anxiety about determining your next steps. Nature's prompts, inspired quotes, and reframed internal messages can help you change how you navigate next.

How would reimagining next make a difference in your life? Which of these ideas resonate with you? What helps you figure out next? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, planning, or figuring out your next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Figuring out next is possible, especially with support.

 
 
Ways to Easily Make Next Step by Joyfully Losing Your Negative List

Yes. It’s still officially winter, and our recent run of several warm days has reverted to colder temperatures. Despite the fluctuating thermometer, I notice hopeful signs of spring as nature begins its blooming ritual. Frequent sightings of green plants push through the ground to greet the blue sun-filled sky. They don’t hesitate. After being dormant for months, rejoining life with gusto is their next step.

Nature’s confident growth got me thinking about things that prevent us from moving forward.

  • How about the mile-long to-do list?

  • Is yours dormant and paralyzing?

  • Or are you actively working on it?

  • Is your list meaningful and necessary?

  • Or is it filled with tasks that aren’t essential and you don’t care about?

  • Is your list so daunting that it brings up negative feelings, regret, and disappointment?

  • Or instead does it inspire you to act?

If you are struggling to determine your next step, here is a novel idea: Lose your ‘negative list.’ Crumple it up, let it go, and say buh-bye! That might sound radical, and perhaps it is. But can you imagine doing it anyway? And if you did, what might happen?

 

What’s On Your Negative List

Things holding you back can be concrete or emotional. They might include things like:

  • Thought loops with messages such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough”

  • Projects that would be nice to do, but realistically you’ll never get to

  • Thank you notes that are years overdue

  • Plans you wanted to make with friends or family, but never did

  • Piles of magazines with articles to clip and file

  • Stuff inherited from other people’s lives to sort and edit

  • Papers and objects representing previous careers or life stages to curate and edit

Without realizing it, I had a negative list. It included feeling bad about not yet:

 

 

Make Your Next Step Easier

It may sound too simplistic to lose or release your negative list. However, recognizing how it might be holding you back makes it worth trying.

Maybe you’ll decide you still want to attend to some things on that list. And if so, perhaps a reframe of how you think about that ‘thing’ will make the difference. For example, instead of the projects you’ll never get to demotivating you, celebrate the ones you have accomplished. Review the remaining ones to decide if one is worth pursuing. If so, think about it as a project you get to, not have to do. Release the rest.

As Oliver Burkeman says in Four Thousand Weeks, our time is limited. “The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” We will never get everything done or be able to pursue every possibility that exists. Burkeman says, “we’ve been granted the mental capacities to make almost infinitely ambitious plans, yet practically no time at all to put them into action.”

Recognizing these limitations can be freeing. Don’t try to do everything. Instead, let go of what is holding you back and pursue what’s most meaningful and necessary.

Selecting next will become easier. Guilt will be gone. Action and intention will rule the day. What comes next will be joyfully embraced once you are unencumbered by the lingering tasks you’ve chosen to release from your list.

The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.
— Oliver Burkeman

What’s Next?

I might forgo choosing a new word and motto this year and even skip a deeper review of 2024. Just considering that option makes me feel lighter and more energetic. After all, I imposed these things on myself, and I can just as quickly release them from my list.

My next steps will prioritize energizing and nourishing actions, projects, and ideas. What will be next for you? What can you release that is holding you back? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or figuring out your next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
Here Are 5 Most Interesting and Best Change Discoveries - v48

This is the newest release (v48) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature, with my latest finds that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring change discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are an engaged, vibrant, and generous group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

 








What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Change Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Liberating Change

Taking inventory of where you are right now, you might have a mile-long list of all the changes you’d like to make. Overwhelm most likely accompanies that list. After all, it’s nearly impossible to successfully pursue multiple changes simultaneously.

Meditations for Mortals – Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts by best-selling author Oliver Burkeman is not about being more productive but selective.

Burkeman says, “The list of worthwhile things you could in principle do with your time will always be vastly longer than the list of things for which you’ll have time.”

Additionally, “when you give up the unwinnable struggle to do everything, that’s when you can start pouring your finite time and attention into a handful of things that truly count.”

The four themed weeks (Being Finite, Taking Action, Letting Go, and Showing Up) include twenty-eight short chapters intended to be read one day at a time. These chapters are digestible and inspiring, encouraging small, achievable changes in perspective and action. By embracing imperfection, accepting limitations, combating distractions, and more, you will learn how to live with less stress and more purpose.

 

 

 

2. Interesting Trend – Emotional Change

Have you ever noticed something that makes you do a double-take? Recently, I saw a Tiny Buddha post on Instagram that made me do just that. It took me a few moments to sound out the word exhausterwhelmulated and digest what it meant.

This adjective is “the feeling of being exhausted, overwhelmed, and overstimulated all at once.” Does this sound familiar? Have you felt this way lately?

With all that’s happening in the world, many of us feel exhausterwhelmulated. If this describes your experience, embrace the changes you have agency over.

  • If you’re exhausted, prioritize your sleep hygiene.

  • If you’re overwhelmed, remove or delegate some tasks.

  • If you’re overstimulated, take a hiatus from social media and news scrolling.

Embrace the changes that will bring you energy, clarity, and calm.

 

 

  

3. Interesting Resource – Change

How are your decluttering and organizing goals coming along? Are you filling bags with clothing, home goods, and books to donate? Or are you thinking about taking action but haven’t begun yet?

Making a change by curating your environment can yield energizing results for you and others. Being intentional by keeping your most valued and useful items and releasing what has overstayed its welcome brings many positives.

First, your environment will better support who you are, what you use, and what you treasure. Second, donating items and letting go of what you no longer need will allow someone else to enjoy them.

One of the easiest-to-use donation sources is GreenDrop®. You can schedule a pick-up online or visit a donation center. I use them, as do many of my clients. GreenDrop® accepts books, clothing, electronics, linens, games, housewares, small appliances, small furniture, and more.

This resource makes the exit strategy for your things so much simpler.

Embrace the changes that will bring you energy, clarity, and calm.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Interesting Product – Joyful Change

Living in the digital age, we spend a lot of our time interacting with technology. Sometimes, I wonder if pens and paper will become obsolete. I sure hope not. As someone who receives immense tactile pleasure from using such implements, I thought you might feel similarly.

Don’t get me wrong. I also enjoy using my tech tools, like my keyboard to write blog posts or my voice to ask Siri questions. However, there are many situations when pen and paper are my preferred tools.

I discovered Karst’s Stone Paper™ journals. The paper is made from “100% recycled stone and without any trees, bleaches or acids.”  It’s “durable, more sustainable, and infinitely smoother to write, scribble, doodle or draw on.” The paper is also waterproof and tear-resistant.

My newest meditation journal has stone paper. It’s a beautiful writing experience that allows my thoughts to flow and my pen to glide one word at a time. What a simple way to bring about a joyful change.

 

 

 

5. Interesting Thought – Positive Change


Have you noticed that change takes time? Whether making intentional positive changes or navigating unexpected ones, time and patience are essential ingredients.

The most frequent emotion I notice when making changes is feeling impatient. You want what’s on the other side, yet sustaining the effort to get there can be challenging.

This simple yet powerful phrase, “I am in the process of positive changes,” reminds us of the patience piece while also nurturing confidence and proactive participation.

You can do this. You are doing this!

Can you share one change-related discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help getting unstuck, reducing overwhelm, getting organized, and making changes? If so, I’m here for you. Contact me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.